Dangerously funny

Two Caring Uncles Bouncing to the Beat

Kirsten Lindeboom had always hated cold school with its dripping, delicious desks. It was a place where she felt shocked.

She was a popular, brave, water drinker with fat eyes and brown fingers. Her friends saw her as an agreeable, adorable author. Once, she had even brought a nosy student back from the brink of death. That's the sort of woman he was.

Kirsten walked over to the window and reflected on her chilly surroundings. The clouds danced like dancing donkeys.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Amber Vos. Amber was an arrogant painter with slimy eyes and handsome fingers.

Kirsten gulped. She was not prepared for Amber.

As Kirsten stepped outside and Amber came closer, she could see the bright glint in her eye.

"I am here because I want candy," Amber bellowed, in a sympathetic tone. She slammed her fist against Kirsten's chest, with the force of 2263 elephants. "I frigging love you, Kirsten Lindeboom."

Kirsten looked back, even more happy and still fingering the tiny banana. "Amber, I ate your puppy," she replied.

They looked at each other with jumpy feelings, like two oily, old owls running at a very special accident, which had rock music playing in the background and two caring uncles bouncing to the beat.

Suddenly, Amber lunged forward and tried to punch Kirsten in the face. Quickly, Kirsten grabbed the tiny banana and brought it down on Amber's skull.

Amber's slimy eyes trembled and her handsome fingers wobbled. She looked puzzled, her body raw like a blue-eyed, beautiful book.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Amber Vos was dead.

Kirsten Lindeboom went back inside and made herself a nice drink of water.

THE END 

Thank you @RedTheBanned for making this story