Your Big and Smelly Apartment

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Dear Mr Knicker Face,

Thank you for providing me with a very big and smelly apartment over the last one hundred and seven days thirty two minutes. I have really enjoyed dealing with the polka-dot neighbours, particularly the one who likes daring in the middle of the night.

I also love clearing up after the a rough puppies that seems to roam the neighbourhood. I once caught two puppies punching in the living room.

Incidentally, the living room is like a really cool slaughter house and the dungeon has fungi growing on the walls.

Perhaps, given that you deem Holly Manor an acceptable place to live, you would like to inhabit it for a while. When it rains, raindrops fall through the roof. But I'm sure you won't mind that, given that you thought it suitable conditions for me.

The area is relatively crime free, during my time here, I have only known of two murders and three violent assaults, making my apartment a steal at the current rent.

It is with a most crazy heart that I hereby give notice on Holly Manor.

I've left a pair of a rough puppies kissing in the bath to express my gratitude.

Yours sincerely

Willy

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