Primal.

Chapter 78 - Part of you.

"You need to see a doctor. It's been all week long. You won't let me take you to the hospital so at least go to the fucking doctor" Nikki ranted at you as you ran a hand over your face. You felt like utter shit and he wasn't wrong.

"Fine, go take Izzy to kindergarten and I'll get ready" You instructed him. He pointed the car keys at you as a warning and you waved him off. You watched as he left and you lay back in bed, wondering what the hell was wrong.

It didn't take you long to get seen once Nikki explained that you hadn't eaten in days and you were refusing to go to the hospital. The doctor took your blood and sat down, reviewing your records.

"Would you mind if I spoke to you alone Mrs Sixx?" The doctor asked and Nikki frowned. You raised an eyebrow and shook your head.

"No you can talk to us both, it's fine" You said and the doctor sighed.

"Okay well I can't confirm yet but I do strongly believe you are pregnant. But I also believe that Mr Sixx's vasectomy was successful so.."

"So you think I've had an affair?" You scoffed and Nikki ran a hand over his face. "You can never guarantee vasectomies are 100% anyway."

"That's true. But it's not very often this happens. I need to make sure everything is considered" The doctor said. You looked at Nikki who sat there blankly.

"She wouldn't have had an affair" Nikki murmured. "We've been together all the time. And she wouldn't do that to me."

"Thank you" You sighed and then considered the possibility of what the doctor was suggesting. "So how has this happened?"

"If you were from the minor percentage where the vasectomy has failed on the ocassion, then it's possible that it could have happened. Not many couples still have regular sex after vasectomies. Can you pin point when this may have happened?"

"We aren't a once a week couple here doc" Nikki snorted. "We are very active, everyday, more than once."

"Then it's extremely likely that if the vasectomy has failed that Mrs Sixx was always going to have a high chance of pregnancy. She's in a healthy state, she's of prime age..It's almost inevitable"

"Okay" Nikki sighed. "Can you call us when you have the results?"

"Of course, should only be a couple of days" The doctor said bidding you farewell as you walked out the building and sat in the car.

"How do we feel about this?" You asked Nikki this time as he sat there in silence.

"I don't know" He said honestly. "I..I was finished."

"I know you were. And although with how I acted about this before, I'm not sure I'm ready.." You said taking his hand.

"Izzy is a handful" Nikki stared and you agreed. "She's still so young."

"I know, I do. But on the flip side, it's me and you. It's gonna be a part of me and you" You said with a small smile. "And I love that."

"I do too" He said smiling. "I always knew we would have two. But damn this took me by surprise."

"If we are, do you think we can do it?" You asked Nikki. He looked at you with a smile and nodded. You grinned and hugged him tightly as he did you, burying his face into your neck.

"I love you so much" He mumbled against you. "We could have a family band at this rate."

You got home and cuddled with Izzy regardless of her attitude with you. You and Nikki spoke about how she could be an older sister to a little brother. How they could play together and it might bring a more caring side out of Izzy.

"I loved how small she was when she was born" Nikki smirked. "You had a glow, and it was kinda hot."

"At least we'll know what we are in for this time" You nodded. "I mean I don't understand why this baby doesn't want me to eat, that's something I'll have to get used to."

Nikki put his arms around you and rested them on your abdomen as you lay against his chest. Both of you humming with happiness.

—-

"Y'know if it's a boy he might be more wild than Izzy" Lita mentioned as you sat around with her.

"That's true, I keep thinking of all these names y'know? It might be another girl. But either way, I'm kinda excited" You grinned.

"Don't call him some obscure name like Gunner. I love that kid but the name." Lita shook her head. "You eaten anything today?"

"I tried to but it's just not staying down. Before it was fine it was just when I smelt certain things but now I can't even eat. I just have to keep trying and I need to stay hydrated" You shrugged.

The door opened and Nikki put his head round.

"Can I borrow my wife for a second?" Nikki asked and Lita nodded.

"No funny business near my guitar" She mentioned before walking out the room. Nikki sat on the sofa and patted the seat next to him.

"What's going on?" You asked with a smile, raising an eyebrow as he took your hand when you sat down next to him.

"The doctor called" Nikki sighed looking kinda sad. "He said you have a norovirus, it's just a bug and he has some medicine for us to pick up which will clear it."

"Oh" Your face dropped and your heart sank. "..Oh."

"I'm sorry angel" Nikki sighed kissing your head. You nodded and sniffed looking at his hands.

"It was stupid to get excited" You chuckled sadly. "I mean the odds that I was pregnant..You've had a vasectomy for Christ sake"

"The doctor was convinced" Nikki rubbed your back as you lay against him. "At least we don't have to worry now about timing and.."

You moved away from him and wiped your eyes as you held onto a sob. He looked at you heartbroken. You knew he was trying his best, but it felt like all the feelings you had before came rushing back.

"Yeah it's, it's better this way" You nodded. "I'm gonna just go in the other room."

"Baby, don't shut yourself off" Nikki pleaded. You gave him a forced smile and squeezed his hand.

"I'm fine. Just tired" You nodded. "We need medicine anyway, so I'll go get that"

——
You sat in the car and cried. A part of you was berating yourself for believing you were pregnant without the facts. Apart of you was reminded of the fact that Nikki was done with kids.

You took your medicine in the car as you sat outside your house. Nikki watched you from the window, you had pulled up to the house 10 minutes ago but you were still sat in the car.

He felt guilty, somehow that this was his fault. He knew you didn't blame him, but he knew he had the ability to give you what you wanted and he willingly took it away. But there was nothing he could do.

Eventually you came in the front door and put your keys on the side. You offered Nikki half a smile as you walked past him and straight into the studio.

"Babe.." He called after you.

"I gotta finish this track" You mumbled without looking back.