Primal.

Chapter 79 - Bitter Pill.

Nikki had gone to do some promotion for the Greatest Hits album. You hadn't even had a chance to listen to the album until now. Nikki was off doing interviews, Izzy was at kindergarten and you were alone with the dogs. You put in the album and sat back listening to it.

You smiled as you listened to Bitter Pill. Nikki had been there for you regardless. And you knew it was killing him to see you so shut off again. Turning on the tv as you listened to the album, you watched as he was interviewed.

"So new album, you guys seem very well rounded. Aging gracefully I see. Do you think time has been good to you guys?"

"I think so, we're still getting a lot of attention from the ladies, so you tell me" Vince laughed as the guys agreed.

"Now Tommy has left the band, do you guys still keep in contact? Did he have a say on the album?"

"Yeah he's around a lot. He did help contribute the drum parts. He's still around" Nikki stated.

"The album has two new tracks as well as a new version of Glitter. Did you guys make a joint decision to make some new music?"

"No" Vince stated with a laugh as Nikki rubbed his neck. "Nikki had some songs which he wanted to include as a nod to his wife and we all agreed eventually."

"She's done a lot for us as a band" Mick chimed in surprising them. "She deserves recognition"

"We as fans are aware of Mrs Sixx and her support for the band. She's even got into trouble a few times for you guys.." The interviewer laughed and the guys smirked. "Does she like the new album?"

"She hasn't heard it yet" Nikki stated. "We've had some events take place recently that she's working through right now. But I know she's probably watching at home."

"Well Mrs Sixx, go listen to your songs!" The interviewer demanded and you smirked.

Enslaved made you cry. You knew it was about your fight with depression. Nikki had been writing it everytime he lay with you when you needed a break.

"I love him" You murmured to Ringo as he sat next to you. You didn't want to push him away.

You picked up the insert for the album and noticed Glitter had some credit to Jon. You skipped forward to it. It started off kinda different, until you heard the cellos in the background. Grinning, you rested your head against you hand. You knew Nikki was trying to recreate the same feel that Always had on you.
You wished he was here right now.

——

"I don't know what to do" Nikki sighed as he sat with the guys in the bar down the street. "She was so happy and I feel like I've ripped it away."

"If you don't want another kid then you don't want another kid" Vince shrugged. "She knows that and it's her choice to stay with you."

"We're married, she's not gonna just leave because I'm done with kids" Nikki stated rolling his eyes but Vince looked skeptical.

"If it's having this much effect on her, she might." Vince muttered as he drank.

"She doesn't want another kid in general" Mick piped up. "She wants another kid with Nikki."

"Maybe I should just get it reversed" Nikki sighed.

"Don't give in to her" Vince said firmly. "This isn't like an argument over Pizza. This is you not wanting a kid. It's pretty damn serious. She will just have to get over it."

"Hey guys" A female voice said seductively. The guys turned around to notice some blondes stood behind them with a smile. "We're big fans."

"What's your name darlin?" Vince flirted

"Sherri" She popped her gum and she looked at Nikki with a smile. "You're my favourite."

"Thanks" Nikki grunted. He grimaced as he felt her hands on his arm.

"I just love your tattoos, do you have another others?" She asked squeezing in next to him.

"Yeah I do" He said briefly turning away. He could feel her pushing up against him. Her nails on his bicep.

"Can you stop touching me" Nikki stated pulling his arm away. She didn't stop and he pulled his arm from her grasp. "I'm not interested"

"C'mon you've been with her for years, we all know. We just thought you might be bored, needing some excitement" She said putting her chin on his shoulder.

"Look lady, I said I'm not interested. Quit harassing me" He said getting off the barstool and taking his drink elsewhere. He was feeling insecure and uneasy about you. Vince had planted the seeds of worry in his head, what if you did leave him?

He eyed Sherri coming over to him again and he decided it was time to go.

You heard Nikki come upstairs to find you. He opened the door to see you sat on your bed with photos surrounding you. He looked confused but you greeted him with a smile.

"I went and had your tapes developed. I know you always forget. There's some on here from so long ago" You mentioned taking his hand and pulling him to sit next to you. He wrapped his arms around you and you sat against him, bringing up the picture from when he proposed to you.

"We look so different" You murmured as he laughed.

"You still look the same" He mentioned and you shook your head. You went through the photos together one by one. All of them Nikki had taken. You passed him the small folder with a sigh.

"Y'know you could be a stalker. " You said as he opened the folder. It was random pictures of you throughout the years. In all of them you were completely oblivious to the photo being taken. Some were with you and the dogs, sat by the pool with your back to him. Some were you on stage, some in the studio. Some were you talking to Lita.

"You always make me look good" You mentioned as he went through them all in silence. "Nikki?"

You noticed his mood as soon as he came in. He put his head on your shoulder as he held you tightly.

"Are you gonna leave?" He asked.

"What? Who said I'm gonna leave?" You asked confused.

"Vince. You want more kids and I don't. So are we done here?" He asked worriedly.

"Nikki" You said turning in his grasp. "Is that what you want?"

"If it will make you happy" He sighed. "I don't like that I'm making you feel this way."

"I'm not leaving. We promised no running when things got tough" You said sternly. "This isn't your issue, it's mine and I'm working through it."

"I can't deal with you eventually resenting me. I can't" Nikki held you as you wrapped your arms around his neck and put your forehead to his.

"I will never ever resent you" You stated. "Do you love me?"

"More than anything" He said quietly.

"Then trust me" You mumbled. "Cause I'm not leaving you Nikki. We're in this for the long run. I just liked the thought of something that's both of us. Maybe a kid who doesn't hate me."

"She doesn't hate you" Nikki said kissing you. "She's just stubborn."

"You aren't wrong there" You sighed. "You aren't running are you?"

"Not a chance" He said kissing you once more.