𝐧𝐛𝐚 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 [𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝]

gone • deandre jordan

dear deandre,

i want you to know one thing: none of this was your fault. none of it.

i'm sure you've noticed, but in the recent weeks i've become really distant. it's not anything you did, or that i don't love you anymore. because trust me, that's far from it.

i love you too much, more than i should. nothing is balanced, nothing is fair. nobody loves me. you say you love me, but i have trouble believing it. everything is so hard. everything is too much for me.

i struggle every single day to keep up. my emotions and anxiety get the best of me. i constantly feel like i'm trapped, and i can't get out of this box i'm stuck in. i don't talk to you or anyone about it, because i don't want to waste your time. you wouldn't care. i don't want you to care.

i'm a waste of time. you shouldn't be wasting your time on me. you have such a wonderful life, and i feel like i'm the lowest point of it. i'm bringing you down, and it's bringing me down too.

i look around and all i see is hate. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate life. i hate the world. i can't do it anymore.

by the time you read this, i'll be gone. i won't be with you. i won't be alive.

after days and days of self reflection, i've decided that the best thing for me to do is just erase my existence from this world.

i loved you, deandre. please remember that. none of it was ever fake. you were the best boyfriend, and i appreciate everything you've done for me. you were the one thing that kept me happy, but it wasn't enough. nothing ever was.

i was just the tiniest part of your life, when you were the biggest part of mine.

will anybody even care when i'm gone?

from,

sophie

--------------

💔💔💔