𝐧𝐛𝐚 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 [𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝]

proud • john wall

dear hannah,

i did it. i'm proud.

mom made me visit you today. it's been a while since i've been to see you. it was hard, but i did it.

i remember going to visit you for the first time. i was so mentally broken, and the tears wouldn't stop coming. my heart ached so much, and it still does.

i was an absolute mess. i would spend hours and hours with you, talking about how my day went, how i felt and how much i missed you like you could actually hear me. it wasn't healthy, and i was going insane.

i lost myself not having you around. i couldn't accept reality.

overtime, i've been getting better. i hope you're proud of me. i've stopped going to see you all the time. i've finally started to let the people around me in again. i've been working non stop to become the best basketball player i can be. i've socialised with people that haven't been you. i've started to let my heart open up again.

after everything i went through to get over my downfall, i never went to see you again. i thought that going to visit and talk to you would just bring everything back and bring me back to square one, and break me all over again. i couldn't bring myself to be with you, knowing that i couldn't be happy while doing so.

two years ago, on this exact day, you left me. you broke me. you killed me inside.

this morning, i woke up and i started tearing up. i knew exactly what day it was, and the only thing that came to my mind was you.

i couldn't get out of bed. i couldn't move or do anything, until my mom came to get me and brought me right back to you.

i love you, and i miss you so fucking much.

now that i'm here with you, i can't help but yearn for you. but i have to be strong. you left me, and i have to accept it.

so here i am, writing this to you, in front of your grave.

are you proud of me?

love,

john

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sorry for not updating !!! i love john x

proud of my boys todayy <333