𝐧𝐛𝐚 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 [𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝]

lie • lou williams

dear taylor,

why do you even bother coming home anymore? why do you bother sticking around? why do you bother pretending to love me, when you really love someone else?

i'm not stupid, taylor. all the times you've canceled on me, all the times you've come home later than midnight or not till the next morning, all the times you've said you were at a friend's house, when really that friend wasn't even in town. all those times, and you want me to believe you're not cheating on me?

when you tell me you love me, it hurts me, because i want to believe you. i really do. but i know it's not true. but i have no choice but to say it back and act like everything's normal, because on my end, it's true. i love you. but i guess all this time i was just loving someone who didn't love me back.

that's what hurts the most. the fact that our whole relationship was basically a lie. your love for me was a lie.

you're probably wondering why after all my suspicions and accusations, i still haven't ended things between us. maybe it's because you're not actually cheating on me, and i'm hallucinating and falsely accusing you of something. maybe it's because there's a part of me that still believes that you really do love me, and i'm your one and only. maybe it's because i'm naive and stupid, and you've got me trapped under this spell. maybe it's all of these reasons combined.

but somehow you've managed to keep me by your side all this time. well now, i'm not having it. i won't allow myself to keep loving you, only to get broken and hurt over and over again.

i really thought you were the one for me. everything was going so well. what went wrong? i don't know why even after writing this letter, there's still this feeling inside me that is aching for you.

i hope you're happy with him, despite the countless times you've broken me.

i just wish that him could have been me.

from,

lou

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poor lou :(

my sixth man of the year <3