Alright, who taught friday how to swear?

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I had a four-hour long color guard practice yesterday and I feel like death...

(This isn't relevant anymore because that was from last week but I'm too lazy to change it)

Peter:

Since last week, I have been staying with Tony and Pepper since May was in Washington for a month long business thing. Pepper and Tony were out shopping and I stayed at the tower since I had some catchup homework to do. (I finished it) and for the past 3 hours, I've been watching movies in the living room with Ned and MJ.

And as if of right now, we are currently watching Napoleon Dynamite for the 23rd time.

"Alright, I'm getting a popcorn refill, does anybody need anything?" I ask while heading to the kitchen.

"Get some more pretzel sticks" MJ shouts

"Anything else?" I ask while grabbing a bowl.

"Pretzel sticks" Ned shouts

"You already guys said that" I shout back

"FUCK!" I shout since I knocked over the container and everything spilt.

Great, just great another daily dose of my Parker luck.

"Language!" I hear Steve shout from his room.

"Mr. Parker, it seems that an unknown word has been spoken. Would like for me to add it to my database?" FRIDAY says.

"FRIDAY do not add fuck to your database, it's a bad word!"

"Add it!" Ned and MJ shout at the same time.

"Okay, Scan complete. Fuck, a word used often when one messes up or...when one stubs their toe"

"Steve is going to be pissed if he finds out I taught FRIDAY to swear," I say while running my hand through my hair and pacing back and forth. (Did I spell that correctly?)

"Good job, Parker, you taught a computer assistant to swear. What's next stealing candy from a baby?" MJ says while trying to hold back laughter.

"What's this about Peter stealing candy from a baby?" I hear a familiar voice say scaring the shit out of me so I accidentally jumped on the ceiling which lead to a lot of laughter.

"Nothing," I say quickly while getting myself off the roof.

Tony looks at me skeptically but shrugs it off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 hours later.

The rest of the avengers just got back from their mission in Germany and they were exhausted, Ned and MJ sadly had to go because it was a school night and 11pm and as if of right now, I was currently baking cookies with Sam.

"Hey FRIDAY, where are the chocolate chips?" Sam shouts.

"They are in the pantry, Sir,"

"Spider-Child, can you grab them for me?"

"Yeah, sure" I say while hurrying to the pantry only to not find the chocolate chips.

"I thought you said they were in here?" I ask FRIDAY.

"They are,"

"No they're not" I say while going to the refrigerator to check and... I found them on the third shelf.

"Fuck! It appears my data has been synced with incorrect information"

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. I am so dead.

Let's hope none of the avengers that are in the living room heard that.

Correction, let's hope Steve didn't hear that.

"Did FRIDAY just swear?" Steve asked.

"Cap, I think your hearing is getting messed up. Or your old man side is showing"

Steve gasps dramatically and holds his hand to his heart "I am offended, but seriously though, who taught FRIDAY how to swear?"

A bunch of the avengers shook their head and mumbled not me- including myself hoping I was convincing enough.

"FRIDAY, who was the last person to swear around you?" Bucky asks suddenly interested in the conversation considering aside from me, he swore the most out of the avengers.

"Peter Parker,"

I bury my face in my hands and Steve raises an eyebrow at me.

"FRIDAY, fuck is a bad word. (Fanfic reference maybe?) please remove it from your database. We can't have Steve having a heart attack every time he hears you say it," Tony says.

"Okay, Sir, it was removed from my database and is now an unknown word,"

"Thank you FRIDAY,"

"And now it's time for another lecture on appropriate and inappropriate language," Steve says and everybody groans.

"Not again,"



















This was going to be a long night...

















The end! Sorry that this one is short- and for my inactivity. I don't really have an excuse but I do have a few drafts that are almost ready!













Also the new sleeping with sirens song is a FUCKING BOP!




















"iTs a ShRimP iN ThE BaG!"










"iTs a ShRimP iN ThE BaG!"

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Emo out!

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