Hell's Smitten (Gordon Ramsay x Reader)

*Chapter 44- If only this Moment were Forever

Sunday, July 7th, 2013

The corners of Gordon's lips pull up into a smile.

"You did really well, (Y/N). Tana definitely approves of you. I told you she'd like you," he says as he turns his torso to me and wraps his other arm around my waist.

"That was crazy. I never thought I'd be meeting my boyfriend's wife at any point in my life. At least not with everyone fully knowledgeable and consenting to the situation," I say, my voice still a little shaky as I try to untangle the emotions that dredged up in me from who knows where.

At the word 'boyfriend', Gordon's face lights up.

"It's nearly overwhelming how good it feels when you call me that. 'Boyfriend'. I feel like a love-struck teenager. I love you, (Y/N), you make me feel incredible," he declares, holding me into his firm chest.

I trail my hands up the sides of his back and curl my fingers around his shoulders from behind.

"You are incredible, Gordon, and you make me feel the same. I love you too..." I draw my head back from his chest and give him a genuine smile, trying to hide the trepidation in my voice.

"But what?" he asks, catching on to my hesitation. I wince. Hiding anything from this man is proving to be impossible.

"I mean... I've never done anything like this before. Seeing someone I'm in love with kiss someone else was... unsettling," I gulp down some air before continuing, Gordon's concerned gaze locked onto my eyes. "I know she's your wife and I know she was here way before me, but I've still never experienced feelings like that before... Jealousy, mostly," I whisper the last bit.

He kisses my forehead and I feel his words through the vibrations of his lips against me. "Don't you think I understand? My wife spends more time with her boyfriend than she does with me. Of course, that's my fault for being such a busybody. But still, it took me a long while to get used to seeing her with him. They are happy and obviously in love, I felt so strongly about it I almost had to end our relationship. Once, we'd fought and she'd went on to his house to cool down. It enraged me so much," he mumbles before pulling back and running a thumb across my cheek.

"But it turns out him being there makes us stronger. When she went to visit him, she talked to him about our argument and came home with a solution to our issue that neither of us had thought of. Plus, I know she's not lonely without me there. I know she's not getting up to anything we haven't discussed. He was my friend before, but we've become better and better friends as time has gone on. Now, I wouldn't want her to be without him. He enhances both our lives so much that it would feel like we were missing something if he wasn't there. Usually when I'm home he's not around, but he's always a welcome presence when he is," Gordon finishes.

"So would I be the same thing for you? Would I be traveling with you?" I ask tentatively.

Gordon shrugs his shoulders. "Honestly, I don't know what we'll do. Surely if you travel with me, people will eventually notice," he says, then takes my cheek in the palm of his hand as I lower my head dejectedly.

His warm blue eyes provide a safe haven for me to sink into. "Nothing can stay a secret forever. They will find out, eventually. But don't think I don't want people to know. I do love you, and I want you with me. Even if that is a tough thing for the public to swallow, so be it. I've been mired in controversy all my life simply for my attitude, I'm sure we can handle it." He pauses to give me a quick kiss before he continues.

"That is if you're prepared for that eventuality. I haven't forgotten that this show is your first step into the world of being on television. Being with me, especially as my lover, will show you a whole new side of people I'm sure you will not enjoy. Tabloids will be filled with lies about you and me. People will accuse you to your face of terrible things. Unfortunately, it's inevitable. Most people barely even know what polyamory is, much less accept it," he grimaces.