Hidekane one shots

Days after the war: yet another backstory

This is pretty much a backstory about Kaneki and a panic attack he had.

Hide's P.O.V.

I came home from helping Yoriko with her bakery, I just helped her clean up some because she really needed the help. When I walked in the door, I heard a banging from mine and Kaneki's bedroom. I was confused for a couple minutes before realizing what that could be. Without thinking I ran to our bedroom and opened the door so quickly it slammed against the wall.

What I thought was going on was true. I saw Kaneki sitting next to a wall and banging his head against it. This has happened before, but I was able to stop him before he hurt himself to badly. This time I left him at home, with no one to stop him. Why he bangs his head against a wall, is because he explains it as hearing a voice in his head and he wants to get it out. I rushed to him and pulled him away from the wall, he might of left a dint in the wall. He started to push himself away from me, but I wouldn't let go of him.

"Let me go!" He shouted as he started to punch my back. It hurt but I went though with it. He moved so his back was against me. He tried to pull out of my hold again, but I still wouldn't let him go. He was able to get ahold of my arm, and my jacket sleeve had rolled up. And he bit my forearm, but he didn't take any flesh with him.

"Ow! Ken, no!" I said as he tried to get out of my hold again. But I wrapped my arms even tighter around him. He was kicking and punching the air and me a little. He moved again where his face was against my chest, he tried pushing himself away from me again but gave up after a little bit. He just cried and cried. It brakes my heart when he cries. I rubbed his back and kissed him on the head.

"Shhhhh-shhhh, it's okay. It's alright." I continued to say soothing things until he fell asleep. I sighed, he cried himself to sleep. I just stayed there, rubbing his back as he slept, before carefully picking him up. I set him on our bed and I noticed blood going down the left side of his face, it must be from him banging his head against the wall. I went to the bathroom and got the first aid kit and a wet wash cloth. I walked back to our bedroom and cleaned up his wound and put a big bandaid on it. I cleaned up a little bit of blood that was on the wall. Before getting Kaneki out of his button up shirt, black jeans, and black undershirt. I got him into a pair shorts and a loose sweater, so he would be more comfortable.

I put the first aid kit back in the bathroom and realized where he bit me was bleeding. I cleaned up and bandaged the bite. Then I went back to our room to get out of my t-shirt and jacket and put on a long sleeved shirt. I'm probably going to have to hide the bite from him because I don't need him to feel guilty about this. He can't control himself when he's having a panic attack. I got a chair from the kitchen table and set it beside our bed. And I watched him sleep. He looked peaceful now that he was asleep and calmed down. He did roll onto his stomach in his sleep.

He mumbled something as he woke up. Then he slowly opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Hey Ken, how are you feeling?" I asked in an almost whisper. He just sort of shrugged his shoulders. "Better then not good." I said before he reached his hand out toward me. I held his hand and rubbed his back as he tried to pull my hand toward him.

"Do you want me to cuddle with you?" I asked before he nodded. "Okay." I said before climbing onto the bed. I sat against the wall and he laid his head on my thigh. He wrapped his arms around my leg to keep me there, as if I'm going anywhere when he's like this. I continued to rub his back.

"Did I do anything to you when I was having that panic attack?" He asked in a horse voice.

"You punched me a few times, but you didn't break anything or leave a bruise behind."

"I-I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you didn't have control over yourself. What caused you to have panic attack this time?"

"I started to hear the voice again."

"What does the voice sound like? Because you never told me that. Does it sound like me?"

"No, it sounds more like a guy I know, but I can't put my finger on it."

"What does it tell you? You never told me that either." I said before he went silent and his hands shook a little."Kaneki, you need to tell me. I need to know this about you so I can help."

"I-it tells m-me to kill myself."

"Is that why you bang your head against the wall? As a suicide attempt?"

"No! I-I just try to get th-the voice out." He said as he started breathing heavily, a few tears ran down his face, and his hands started shaking.

"Okay Ken, calm down. I don't need you to have another panic attack. Take deep breaths." I said before he took deep breaths. He took my wrist and pulled my hand where he nuzzle his nose into my hand. But he got the wrist that had the bitten forearm and squeezed to hard, I grunted as he did that. He pulled his face away from my hand and started to pull my sleeve up.

"Kaneki, I'm okay. You just squeezed me to hard." But my words did nothing to stop him. And he saw the bandage. He sat up and looked at me with shock.

"D-did I..." He said as tears ran down his face.

"Kaneki, calm d-"

"Did I do this?! Tell me the truth!" He shouted at me. I was surprised, he doesn't usually shout at me. I only nodded because I couldn't bring myself to tell him with words. He let more tears run down his face and lightly kissed the bandage before nuzzling his nose there. I took my arm away from him and cupped his cheeks. I kissed him on the forehead before leaning my forehead against his. He held my shirt with his hands before he hid his face in my chest. And I wrapped my arms around him.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He said as he cried.

"I'm not mad to you, Ken. Please calm down." He did calm down after awhile. We laid back down in bed. We were laying on our sides and he was snuggled into my chest. We had our arms wrapped around each other.

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Words: 1206
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Until next time!