powerless // f.w

Deep

As the night wore on, happy, tired faces began saying good bye and leaving the little bubble of orange joy within the trailer to sleep in their own spaces.

Soon, it was just Cameron, Declan, Finn, Sadie, and Caleb. Sadie and Caleb were bickering cutely about something as the washed dishes together. Declan sat in the the arch way, suspended, four feet off the ground, her body folded into the space, her legs braced against one side of the doorframe and her back braced against the other side of the frame to keep herself up. Finn sat on the floor to her left and Cam sat on the counter opposite Sadie and Caleb.

They were all tuned into Sadie and Caleb's argument half heartedly, but their minds were preoccupied. Cam trying to figure out where to sleep with Dove crashed on the couch and the lingering teens. Finn was distracted, a stark feeling of emptiness expanding in his chest. He thought of Declan, dancing in the video—happy, confident, carefree—to ground himself. Meanwhile, Declan was frowning down at her boys, both of them looking concerned and conflicted.

Sadie nudged Caleb.

"Maybe we should go?" She whispered to him. He gave her a questioning look and she nodded behind them in response. Caleb tried to discreetly look behind him but picked up on the atmosphere right away and nodded at her suggestion.

"Hey y'all, were gonna head to bed. Night!" Caleb dried his hands, hung his towel, and turned around to face the group. Sadie mirrored his actions.

Declan climbed down from the archway, and in a rare moment, went over and hugged each of her friends. They smiled and hugged her back.

"Night" Declan nodded towards them.

"Night you two" Finn said from the floor, pleasant enough but hazy.

"Finn are you staying?" Cameron turned to the boy on the floor.

"Yeah" Declan answered for him, which earned her a surprised look from Finn.

"Cool, I'll walk you guys out then" Cam smiled and jumped off the counter, chatting with the two teenagers as he led them out, waved goodnight, and locked the door behind them.

Meanwhile, Declan sat herself across from Finn.

"What's going on?" She asked gravely.

"Nothing" He brushed it off.

"You can't lie to me. We're not gonna do that" Declan protested gravely.

Finn sat for a moment in contemplative silence, looking over her with his flittering gaze.

"I don't know" He replied finally. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I just feel... hazy... and empty" He frowned.

Declan moved over so she was sat right next to him. He buried his head in the crook of her neck and looped his arms around her waist. Declan leaned her head gently on his and rubbed comforting circles on his back. They stayed a moment like this.

"Does this happen often?" She asked softly.

He simply nodded his head.

There was this constant inner turmoil within Finn. It felt like every corner of his being was being pulled and pushed in every direction. He didn't have a grip on who he was or what he wanted to do or what he was doing or why he was here. Everything seemed so ambiguous and difficult to see, to decipher. He had no idea what he was doing, and he could only stumble along blindly for so long without going insane. Without feeling empty. Without getting desperate for the light or hopeless he'd ever find it.

Declan waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts and speak, holding him close to her, her fingertips light and feathery, swirling soothing patterns on his skin. Finn couldn't help but think she must have done this before, before returning to his present situation.