The Coño Boy 4: Jake

Chapter 31: Golden Boy

632 Bespoke Patterns & Stitches

Ate Beatrice: There's our golden boy!

Bati sa 'min ni Ate Beatrice pagka-pasok na pagka-pasok pa lang sa shop.

Jake: Ako?

Ate Beatrice: Hindi, Jake! The mannequin at the window! Hindi ikaw!

Ibang klaseng armas talaga ang sacrcasm kapag gamit ni Ate Beatrice.

Jake: Sorry naman po.

Kelso: Hi ate!

Lumapit si Kelso para mag-beso. Niyakap siya ng Ate Beatrice.

Ate Beatrice: We missed you during the Sunday Lunch! You should have seen your favorite Auntie recite her latest litany woes from her unending family drama.

Kelso: Not in front of the guests, I hope.

Ate Beatrice: Wala namang visita. I think she's just enjoying being the center of attention since it's only Tita Enid and her of the second generation there. And where's my beso?

Biglang tanong sa 'kin ni Ate Beatrice.

Jake: Sorry, ate.

Lumapit ako para mag-beso.

Ate Beatrice: Good boy.

Sabay pabiro niyang ginulo ang buhok ko.

Jake: Para naman akong aso niyan, Ate Beatrice.

Ate Beatrice: Okay lang yan, Kelso follows you around like a love-sick puppy anyway.

Isang malupit na bagsak from Ate Beatrice. Kitang-kita sa mata niya ang pang-aasar.

Kelso: Excuse me?

Tumaas ng bahagya ang boses ni Kelso na akala mo biglang prenong kulang sa brake fluid.

Ate Beatrice: Oh! Touchy subject?

Sabay tingin at kindat sa 'kin ng Ate Beatrice.

Jake: Sige ka, Ate, mamaya magsu-sungit na si Kelsungit.

Sabay akbay ko kay Kelso.

Ate Beatrice: Oh how cute! So he calls you Kelsungit?

Sabay kurot naman ni Ate Beatrice sa pisngi ni Kelso.

Kelso: The nickname is irrelevant. What is with the bag?

Ate Beatrice: You like it? It's LOUIE BAYONG. Woven in the far flung fields of Luisiana Laguna, accessorized with the ubiquitous Jim Thompson silk scarf I had lying around, with my new friend: Master Yoda.

Yung pag-demo ni Ate Beatrice ng dala niyang kulay light blue na bayong akala mo host siya ng O Shopping. May cute na Master Yoda keychain na naka-sabit sa handle ng bag niya na pinuluputan ng sinasabi niyang scarf.

Kelso: Maybe we should patent that: Lui Bayong with the L and B monogram.

Ate Beatrice: Tapos by the next season, all the tiangge's in Greenhills will have knock-offs and imitations of it, huwag na.

Kelso: Let's make chicka na later. First order of business muna.

Ate Beatrice: Very well... Lyndon!

Hindi ko alam kung saan galing at biglang sumulpot na lang ang isang payat na lalaki na may dalang sketchpad at pencil.

Lyndon: Yes, Ma'am.

Ate Beatrice: This is Jake. He needs a tux. I want it to look very sleek and classic but a bit edgy. And please, don't give him one of those leather shoulder straps that they gave James Reid, this is not a BDSM outfit from Fifty Shades.