The Coño Boy 4: Jake

Chapter 41: Puting Parol at Fireworks

Bahay Ordoveza
Poblacion
Bayang Pinagpala
3:58 pm

Dumerecho kami sa may azotea sa may likod ng Mataas-na-Bahay ng Doña Idang.

Jake: Good afternoon po.

Doña Idang: Jake, you're finally here!

Jake: Paciencia na po, late na po ba kami?

Doña Idang: No, you're just in time, excited lang ang iyong Lola Idang.

Jake: Doña I—

Doña Idang: What did I say about the D Word?

Jake: Sorry po. Lo— Lola Idang, si Kelso po.

Kelso: Good afternoon, po.

Jake: Mag-bless ka.

Doña Idang: Nice to finally meet you, Kelso.

Kelso: Finally meet po?

Doña Idang: I may be in my 80s, but I know my way around the internet, hijo.

Kelso: Oh...

Doña Idang: You boys have a lot of explaining to do.

_ _ _

Parang ang dami namang pina-handa ng Doña Idang: may guinataang bilo-bilo, empanada, bunete na may quesong puti, at minatamis na saging. Si Kelso, hindi sa merienda natuwa kungdi sa mga porcelain at glasses na nilabas nila para gamitin namin.

Parang batang naka-kita ng bagong kalaro ang dalawa. Hindi na ako maka-habol sa pinag-uusapan nila mula sa lasa at amoy ng tea at sa lapot ng cocolate na galing sa tablea. Maya-maya may mga lumabas nang photo albums kung saan nagulat ako na meron pala akong mga naka-tagong pictures noong bata pa ako.

Doña Idang: I remember my youth —Oh, that's what people my age do these days—reminisce... What was I saying again?

Kelso: Your youth po.

Doña Idang: Ah yes, my youth. Alam niyo, noong dalaga pa ako, I had a few soldier friends. American soldiers to be exact. At hindi ko alam kung bakit ako talaga ang nilalapitan ng mga gaya nila, pero there were these two American G.I.s that I met during a ball at the Manila Hotel. Their names were Roger and Eli. Roger was the typical blonde haired and blue eyed with the chiseled jawline while Eli was lanky dark-haired Italian-American.

Kelso: Wow, you still remember their names.

Doña Idang: How can I forget their names, hijo? Akala ko these two men were vying for my attention yun pala they were the first same sex couple I have ever met! Alam niyo ba, may code word pa sila sa mga gaya nila noon.

Jake: Code word po?

Doña Idang: Yes! Kasi nga di ba mga sundalo sila at iba ang panahon noon. It was the 1950s. The world was a different place back then. If you think that there are a lot of people who have their brains on backwards, mas maraming pa-urong ang isip noon. Even if they were Americans, they were military men. "Don't ask, don't tell" nga, di ba?

Kelso: Yeah...

Doña Idang: Ang tawag nila sa mga sarili nila "Friend of Dorothy"

Jake: Dorothy?

Doña Idang: Si Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz.

_ _ _

Sa mga naka-tatandang Taga-Guitna dito sa Bayang Pinagpala, ang Doña Idang na siguro ang matatawag nilang "Cool Lola" kasi nga well-travelled siya at exposed sa maraming bagay. Mabilis siyang maka-catch up lalo na sa mga modern na bagay. Siya mismo ang nagpipilit na matutunan yung mga gadget na meron siya.