banned. // hyunin/hyunjeong

chapitre vingt-sept

jeongin.

jeongin started to feel anxious. he was now alone with hyunjin. so what ? it's not like it was the first time.

but since what he pictured, something felt different. before that, he knew that he was never going to be like his uncle ; there wasn't even a need to think of worry about it. but now... now was different.

why was it so easy to imagine himself hurting hyunjin like that ? why didn't he stop picturing it ? he could have opened his eyes, but why didn't he ? why did he choose to see that image, in his head ?

just why ?

he could tell he didn't want to drink hyunjin's blood ; he didn't want to drink any human's blood. and he could never ever hurt hyunjin.

but why wasn't he convinced of his own convictions ? why was his so anxious ? so unsure ?

hyunjin closed the door, and turned to face jeongin, who was looking down at the floor, not daring to look hyunjin in the eyes.

"innie ?" hyunjin called, but the younger didn't look at him, not answered anything. "innie, what's wrong ? baby, please, look at me." he placed his index finger on jeongin's chin, and lifted his head.

jeongin's heart had missed a bit, when he heard hyunjin call him baby. how he liked the sound of it. he wished to be called that by hyunjin all the time. to be called many pet names. he always loved pet names.

"what ?" jeongin croaked out, adverting his gaze from hyunjin's.

"what's wrong ?"

"nothing, hyung."

"baby, please, tell me. i don't like to see you like that. you look so... so sad, and conflicted. i don't like it. i'd rather see your beautiful smile." he caressed the younger's cheek.

"there's nothing wrong, jinnie hyung. for real."

"can you look at me in the eyes, and tell me ?"

jeongin didn't want to. maintaining hyunjin's eyes was already so hard, but now he had to lie while doing so ? it's not like hyunjin believed him, and he was about to get caught ; he was already caught. hyunjin just wanted to show jeongin that he had a proof of his lying —jeongin knew that.

though he still gazed into the older's eyes. the older's beautiful eyes. jeongin started to get lost in them. they looked so sad, yet they had a sparkle of life, describing perfectly the kind of person hyunjin was.

"jeongin, tell me."

he was brought to the topic by hyunjin's melodious voice.

"there's- there's nothing-" he adverted his gaze, but quickly looked back again, "there's nothing wrong."

"i hope you know i don't believe you, right ?"

"i know."

"jeongin... if you trusted me enough to tell me everything about you, why can't you tell me what's bothering you, now ?"

"because... because it scares me."

"i want to tell you that it's okay, but it won't be credible at all, since i don't have a clue of what is okay."

"it's probably going to be okay, but there's still a possibility of- i mean, there's a possibility of something bad happening, and that's what scares me."

"listen, jeongin. you need to stop thinking, or overthinking things. as of now, nothing's going wrong, and it's not because there's a possibility of something actually going wrong, at some points, that you have to lock yourself and worry non stop about it. don't let it eat up at you. all right ?"