Imagine [L.H]

12

ASTHON'S POV:
I really didn't want to be here.

There was no point in trying to "help," me.

I didn't want to be in this world, and this world didn't want me.

I wasn't made to live this kind of life, an emotionless one.

And being brought in meant I wasn't allowed to feel.

They tried to make me talk.

Some guy even brought me into a room and whipped the shit out of me, which made me want to talk less.

Two years trying to run away from my past, and I wind up back to where I started, in this hellhole some people call home.

One year without her and her adorable stupidness.

Two days without the freshness of the outside air, two days without the razor cutting scars into my skin.

It was getting harder by the second; being without the object that made me forget pain for a limited amount of time.

I told her my name, well, not told her, I wrote I down.

I stopped talking a year ago.

I thought that because she passed, I had no one else to talk to, and that nobody else was worth talking to.

She understood how I thought and the way I worked, she was the only person I ever let in, but she's gone now, so I'm alone.

Alone and depressed.

"You seem familiar," Lacey, my new therapist said quietly, eyes narrowed.

I picked up the notepad I had with me and wrote down the words: I don't recognize you. I don't think we've met.

She nodded.

"I don't know what we're going to get done because you don't erm...talk," she said, nervously scratching the back of her neck.

I shrugged, I just wanted to get this done and over with.

"I don't mean to bring up any bad memories or anything," she began. "But you self harm? Am I correct?"

I ignored the question and looked out the window of her office, I heard the scribbling of a pencil and looked back at her to see she was writing in her journal.

I pulled at the sleeves of my gray sweater, a habit I've had for a while now.

"Why do you self harm? Does it help in any way?" She questioned me, looking down at the journal - or whatever she was writing in - she was holding.

I shrugged, looking down at my clothed wrist.
"I know someone who self harms," she breathed out.

I jumped in surprise and looked down at her.
"He has these scars running up and down his arms. It's so bad," she sighed.

"He didn't tell me why, he just said it was like his drug," Lacey explained.

I nodded; self harm was addictive, like a drug.
Some "addicts," can't go without it and have to do it every day, while others do it occasionally to soothe the pain for a bit.

I use to do it everyday.

I toned it down a bit after she passed.

It was my fault she passed; a stupid mistake on my wrist led to the ending of her beating heart.

~Flashbacks in italics~

"Ashton!" I heard Caitlyn yell.

I quickly pulled down the sleeve of my shirt and stuffed my razor into the pocket of my sweatshirt.

"Yeah," I hummed, trying to act casual.

"Do you know where the - were you crying?" She asked, taking a step closer to me.

"Uh-no," I blurted out, trying to blink away the redness of my eyes, which obviously wouldn't work.
Caitlyn took another step closer to me and pulled me in for a warm embrace.

"I'm f-fine," I breathed out, trying my best not to stutter.

She contently stared back into my eyes and suddenly grabbed at my wrist and gave it a tight squeeze.

I let out a quiet scream and flinched back, cradling my wrist into my chest.

"Ash, you promised," she whined and began pacing around the room.

"I-I'm sorry," I whispered, ashamed of my stupid actions.

"I'll find you one of those wrappy things," she mumbled and walked away from me.

I followed close behind her as she made her way towards where we were forbidden to go; inside the walls of the government.

"We're not allowed to go in there," I remarked, nudging her arm.

The blood was soaking through the sleeve of my sweatshirt now, leaving a small red stain on the fabric.

"Right behind this part of the wall is the hospital. I know exactly where to go to get a bandage wrap, don't worry I've done this before, I'll be right back."
She planted a quick kiss on my lips and ran off to god knows where.

•
•
•

It's been twenty minutes since she left and I was scared they caught her.

I leaned against a tree, knees pulled up to my chest as I told myself everything was going to be alright and that she'd come back.

I suddenly heard a loud boom...a gunshot.

No.

Hearing the high pitched sound of a girl scream I looked up to see Caitlyn running, a first aid kit in hand.

"Run!" She yelled.

Everything suddenly slowed down.

I saw three guards behind her, pointing guns towards Caitlyn.

"Didn't you hear me?! Run!" She repeated and threw me the first air kit.

I caught it and began running and running.

I was about to exit the forest when I heard another loud boom and a quiet gasp just behind me.

"Cai-"

Another deafening gunshot.

"A-Ashton," I heard a quiet voice whimper.

I looked down to see her on her knees, hand over her stomach as tears filled her eyes.

"No, no, no, no, no," I whispered and kneeled next to her.

•
•
•

I blinked away tears that threatened to stream down my face.

"No, no, please don't," Lacey whispered.
I quickly wiped away a tear that was beginning to roll down my cheek.

I miss her, my everything, my world.

-

Hellooooooooooo!

Can we just laugh at my attempt at making an action scene wow that sucked.

Anyways, damn this has a little over 100 views and like 17ish votes.

Thank you all so so much I can't explain how much I love you!

Excuse any mistakes I made; it's kind of late.

I hope you enjoyed!

And again, I love you all so so much!

~xoxo~

Linda