Imagine [L.H]

63

LACEY'S POV:

I felt gross.

I felt wrong.

I felt disgusting and pathetic.

I don't know why I chose to let Nate do that to me, it just kind of happened.

It was like something took over me and I couldn't take control of my actions, like I was watching from afar as we had sex on the playground yelling for us to stop.

But the thing is; I felt even more guilty knowing Nate was the one who took my virginity.

My virginity was something I didn't want to give to just anyone, so I don't know why I agreed to us doing that.

I was the cause of it and I hate myself for that.

I let him pin me down, I let him kiss me, I let him touch me. I let us become closer than we needed to be.

Nate had gone out to a stream about five miles away from the playground to retrieve some water. I was "asleep" when he left, but he left me a note and a hunting knife.

I won't need to use it anyways.

I hesitantly stuck it in my back pocket before grimacing at the blanket I was sitting on. The blanket that laid beneath me while Nate was staring at me with lust in his eyes.

I stood up from it - almost falling over because of the pain in my lower back and legs - and walked off the equipment and onto the swings, where I carelessly let my feet kick around as I swung higher.

I winced as I felt my arm sting and looked down at my arm and gasped at the sight.

My chest heaved up and down at the sight of blood trickling down my arm, I watched as vertical and horizontal cuts were made into my skin by thin air.

Then the pain moved to my stomach. I lifted my shirt and watched as countless cuts made their way onto my skin.

"Stop it!" I yelled, not directing it to anyone in particular.

That's when I saw it.

The image was hazily visible, yet clear. I recognized Luke's hands running a razor across his stomach. I couldn't see his face, but I watched as beads of blood poured through the large cuts he made.

I gripped my wrist and smacked it as hard as I could against a blue pole that held up the swings. Luke suddenly dropped the piece of metal and I bit back a whimper as my hand throbbed in pain.

I got his attention.

"Luke," I whispered, unsure if I was dreaming or just going crazy.

Lacey? A quiet voice ran through my head.

"Luke, baby oh my gosh," I gasped, running a hand through my hair.

You can hear me?! He exclaimed.

I nodded but realized he couldn't see my face - if he was even seeing what I seeing. "Yeah," I whispered and gasped when I felt my blood soak through my shirt.

A-are you okay? Luke stuttered out.

"N-no," I whimpered. "Why are you hurting yourself?" I asked, my voice cracking.

I-I...I just...you're not here.

I put my arm in front of my eyes to show Luke and he gasped when he saw the cuts.

Why did you do it? Luke asked quietly.

"I didn't do it," I said quietly, sitting down by a tree and brought my knees up to my chest. "You did it."