Imagine [L.H]

35

LUKE'S POV:

So much is going through my mind, and it feels as if I'm going to explode with all the emotions I'm feeling right now.

I sighed, coming to a complete stop and leaned against a tree.

Katy's alive, she's breathing, she's living.

And frankly, I don't know how I feel about that.

I'm relieved that her life wasn't lost, yet somehow...disappointed, and I feel guilty because of that.

What kind of jerk is disappointed that their ex-girlfriend is alive and not dead?

Ex-girlfriend...

I let myself plop onto the ground with a small thud and pulled my legs up to my chest.

Sometimes I just wish I could vanish, not die, but vanish.

I want to see how I would handle myself with everything going on, but in third person.

I want to see my life go off in the eyes of someone else.

I simply want to disappear into a perfect little world where music and love were allowed, happiness existed and depression was extinct.

I wish that I could forget everything that has happened in my life, and wake up to a new start.

I want to forget, yet remember.

There is a thin line between depression and happiness, and I'm walking on that thin strip in between called "holding on."

I'm not suicidal, but I don't care if I die, I'm not happy, but I smile and laugh, yet I'm dead inside.

I sighed, getting up and began slowly walking back home.

I do like Lacey, but it doesn't seem like she likes me very much.

I like the way she has to look up at me when we speak and how she bites her lip when she thinks.

And how she's so clueless, yet so educated and well mannered.

It honestly hurt when she pulled apart from the kiss, she looked disgusted.

Lacey seems so closed off from reality, taught to obey rules one must not follow.

She's been basically brainwashed into not showing how she feels.

I wish I had the ability to do that; block out unwanted feelings.

As a person that is currently overwhelmed with emotions, I can say that I want to have the ability to not feel.

I looked up from the floor, seeing the familiar bricks that led up to my home and sighed.

I rushed towards the door, opening it and slamming it shut.

I practically ran up the stairs and locked myself in my room.

I can't handle all of my feelings right now, my chest is pounding, my stomach is fluttering, and a slight ounce of anger is rising in me.

Everything suddenly went pitch black like the night and my body felt numb.

I couldn't see what was around me, only hear the heavy breathing that was coming from me.

Everything was pitch black for a long time, it felt like an eternal period of darkness flooding my eyes.

I sighed once it was over and sat on my bed.

What was that?

-
I'm not very satisfied with this chapter tbh it's very short

But short chapters mean double updates! So I'll be double updating later! Yay!

I HIT 1K YESTERDAY AND NOW I HAVE 1.17K AND JESUS LORD SEND HELP IM GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK

Thank you so so much!

Excuse any mistakes I made!

I love you all so so much it physically hurts yOU DONT UNDERSTAND!!!

Until next update my sunshines :)))

~xoxo~

Linda