Fix You - A The Script/Danny O'Donoghue Fanfic

Chapter 20

I found him at the reception desk.

“Why are you crying? Shit is that blood?” Shawn asked.

“She. She. And I. It’s my fault!” I started sobbing again, fuck you all. Shawn pulled me into a spare room, maybe a family room, because everyone was staring at me after the little outburst.

“What are you talking about? What happened?”

“She. She.” I couldn’t say her name.

“Who?”

“Amy. She cut herself.” More hysterical sobbing. “There was so much blood. It was everywhere. It is everywhere. And I only know because I broke into your house. And she wanted to die. She wanted to. IT’S ALL MY FAULT!” I collapsed against Shawn who was crying now too.

“Where is she?” He asked after a while.

“A&E. I have to be there. I have to go back.” I staggered off, wiping away my tears. I think Shawn is following me, but I don’t know. And I can’t bring myself to care. I made my way to the desk.

“I’m afraid there’s no news yet Mr O’Donoghue.” The woman told me. No news. Right. Okay then. Waiting then. I fell into the nearest chair. Staring at nothing. Unable to get the images from my head. Unable to forget what she said.

“Call Mark and Glen.” Shawn suggested, his voice soft and gentle. His eyes full of tears. I hadn’t even noticed he was here. I nodded, pulling my phone from my pocket. A few missed calls from the boys. I called Glen.

“Danny where the fuck are you?”

“It’s Amy.” I cried, saying her name sparking more tears.

“Shit. Danny what happened? I told you to leave her alone!” He sounded angry. Well, fuck him. I saved her.

“We’re in A&E. Please come. Bring Mark too.” And I hung up. They can hear the story when they get here. Plus, he is being angry at me. Asshole. Time passes strangely when you’re waiting for something important. We’ve been waiting forever. But it seemed like only seconds had passed when Mark and Glen appeared.

“Shit. What happened?” Their eyes were wide, I forgot I was covered in her blood. I took them into an empty room.

“Amy. She. I tried. But it was too late. Blood was everywhere. And she was so tired. So weak. She forgot she hated me. Told me she, its better this way. She. Gave up. And I. What could I do? So much blood. No good in goodbye. She told me that. Said goodbye. I was frozen. She was. And I. It’s my fault. Glen. You were right. Mark was right. I fuck everything up. Weak pulse. They said that. Emergency. It was. And I.” I couldn’t even speak properly. They must have a pretty good idea of what I was saying though. Mark pulled me into a hug, Glen was crying.  When Mark pulled back, even he looked close to tears. He hadn’t cried since his parents died. He sure as hell won’t cry now. So I cried for him. At my pained sob he pulled me into another hug.

“This isn’t your fault. I promise you.” He tried to comfort me. I know the truth though.

“It is though. Tell him Glen. Tell him what I said. What I did. I was a pig. A disgusting asshole. She never wanted to see me again, never wanted to hear me again. Wanted me to leave her alone. So she didn’t call me when she needed too. She couldn’t vent, couldn’t cry on my shoulder. I did this.”

“No. Danny this is not your fault. She could have turned to someone else. But she didn’t. You can’t blame yourself.” Glen told me, taking us back out to the seats. I sat down next to Shawn. That should make me feel better, right? Glen telling me it wasn’t my fault. But it didn’t help, oh god it did not help.

“Amy Thomson?” We all jumped up, practically running to the nurse. “She is stable, but very weak. She is awake and you can go in and see her, but she is on medication and we can’t be sure how long she will be awake for. She needs sleep to aid recovery. We will be keeping her in here for a while, there are therapists and counsellors who would like to talk to her.” We all nodded and followed her to the room. “Two visitors I’m afraid.” Mark and Glen decided they would wait outside, letting me and Shawn go in first. She looked so pale and fragile in the bed. So delicate.

“Danny? Shawn?” Her voice was rough.

“Hey love.” I managed to say, collapsing into the chair by her bed.

“How are you?” Shawn asked. Stupid question. But hey, stressful conditions right here. She forced a smile, she thinks no one ever notices.

“Never better.” Sassy. Good sign. I could see she was tired, I doubt she had a grasp on what was going on.

“I should go.” I said. Thinking of how much she hated me, she wouldn’t want me here. She reached her hand out, grabbing mine.

“Stay with me Danno. Please.” The name she gave me. The name she used only a few hours ago as she tried to die. I could never say no. Who am I to say no? I squeezed her hand and sat back down. She smiled. “You too Shawn. Talk about pineapples.” And he did. So many useless facts. I stopped listening after a while. Amy fell asleep not long after he started talking, still holding my hand. I followed suit, today was the most stressful day of my life. I know I can never forget what happened today, not for a very long time. I feel responsible. I have to stay with her. Until she is better, until I have fixed her. To think of her, doing something like this when I leave… Makes me feel sick.