Fix You - A The Script/Danny O'Donoghue Fanfic

Chapter 61

I woke up alone, it was dark outside. Which means it’s either really late or really early. There was no sign Amy had come in here at all. I fucked up. I hadn’t meant to slam the door, not really, I was just angry and wanted a bit of time to myself. I cried and cried, must have cried myself to sleep for the second time in one day. Strange to think only this morning I was thinking how long it’s been since that happened. I slowly made my way to the door, careful not to make too much noise. Amy was on the sofa, she must have kicked the blanket off in her sleep because it was in a heap on the floor. The TV was on but had been turned down so much you could barely hear it, her phone was in her hand against her stomach. I couldn’t help the sad smile, poor thing stayed there to give me space. I picked her up carefully.

“Dan?” She muttered, I looked down at her but she was still fast asleep. Must be sleep talking I guess. I put her in the bed, making sure she was comfortable, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“I love you.” I told her, not that she could hear me, but it made me feel better. I didn’t want to go to bed, I didn’t want to fall asleep. I had that feeling, the looming sense of fear, I just knew there would be a nightmare. One of the worst types, the silent ones. Sometimes we kick and scream, roll around restlessly, but my mind has other plans. Awful dreams with me and Amy, I wake every morning and see her peaceful face, but at night it’s become a regular occurrence to see her face twisted in fear, anger, pain. Whatever horrors my mind has cooked up for me. The worst part? I don’t want to tell her, I don’t want her to worry. So, I fake a smile, lie and say I’m better now than ever and my life’s okay. But it’s not. And no, it’s not because of Six degrees of separation. I don’t know what it is, why I am plagued with these nightmares. Sometimes I am better, most the time I am. It’s when I close my eyes and fall asleep when things can turn nasty. Sure, it isn’t a daily thing. I could have a dreamless sleep, or dream of nice things or have a ‘normal nightmare’. So instead of getting into bed beside her I sat on the floor, taking her hand in mine and pressing my face against it. Listening to the sound of her breathing, staring out the window at the moon and stars. I love astronomy, it’s just something I have a passion for. But, I can’t help but think about the moon. Lunatics. Luna. Maybe I’m going crazy, it sure is possible. I know I’m crazy in love, but what if it’s more than that. What if I’m losing my mind? I know I need to stop these negative thoughts, but they keep coming back. God damn it, if only I was man enough to tell Amy at least then I’d have someone to talk too, I’d be able to let it all out.

 

 

 

This is not the sofa; that much is clear, I felt a weight on my hand and turned to see Dan holding onto my arm for dear life. He was fully clothed and on the floor by the bed, sleeping against my hand. Something about his face told me he was not alright, his eye brows were slightly furrowed, there was something wrong. I shook him awake, he bolted up with a gasp.

“Dan, what was that about?” I asked, carefully choosing my words.

“Just a nightmare.” He shrugged, I could hear the lie in his voice.

“That wasn’t a normal nightmare, Dan come on baby. I can see it’s hurting you, you slept on the floor for god’s sake. Talk to me.” I pleaded with him, pulling him onto the bed. He stayed silent. “Dan, I notice. You haven’t been sleeping all that well, you’ve been lying to me about that. I let it slide, giving you space and time. But after yesterday. I don’t know Dan, you aren’t okay. I worry, I really do.”

“I’m sorry.” He muttered.

“I’m not asking for an apology, I’m asking for an answer.” I sighed.

“These nightmares, they are about you. You and me.” His voice was shaking, I looked down at his hands to see they were shaking too. I’m not going to lie, this is really worrying me. He isn’t doing well and I don’t know why. “Sometimes, I, in my dreams, I hurt you.” His voice was so quiet, I watched a tear roll down his face and drop against the blanket. “I am trapped inside myself, and you scream and plead with me and I ignore you and your face, it’s twisted with pain and fear. And that’s aimed at me. That’s fairly new.”

“Oh babe.” I held him close, trying to comfort him.

“They always involve you. Sometimes you catch me with another girl, sometimes I find you with another man. Sometimes it’s just you, alone and scared and I can’t do anything. One time, you were hurting me, but you didn’t want to. It was so painful for me to watch that.” He had no tears to cry, he was empty.

“Baby, these are all just dreams okay. I think you’re getting stressed and worried. Don’t, everything is going to be alright. I’m here for you.” I kissed his cheek.

“You still want me even though I’m messed up?” He asked.

“What the hell!” I laughed. “After everything that I’ve been through, the mess I was when you first met me and you think I would leave you. Never. Even if you were crazy, which you are not, I would be there to help you through it.” I promised, running my hand through his hair.

“I am a lucky man.”

“No, I am a lucky woman. Now we have some packing to do, we slept in and I didn’t’ want to bother you last night.” He nodded and got everything ready, hopefully this interview will work. Maybe it’s all this stuff in the news that is bothering him, I just hope we can get it all sorted. Maybe talking about it will help, time will tell I guess.

A/N - A little late today guys, sorry :( Hope this chapter wasn't too bad :D Please vote and comment :)