Meaning Of A Purr (Sanders Sides - LAMP Fic)

Chapter 8: Night To Remember

No big trigger warnings this chapter, just a slight downward spiral of thought. As always take care of yourselves and thank you for reading

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They made sure Virgil was never alone. Not when they had to return to the outside world to finish recording, not when Virgil woke up from a fretful dream he couldn’t remember the details of, not when he had a panic attack the next morning. Whether it be one, two or even all three of them, there was always someone there sitting in the same room doing their own thing, waiting for Virgil to interact with them or need them. They had all been incredibly understanding of his needs since he had broken down and told them a significant part of his past, and although he still felt mortified by the fact they knew, he felt so relieved they didn’t seem to judge him. They stood by him to protect him from any harm. As much as Virgil longed for solitude and privacy at times, he was glad they hadn’t left his side since Remus showed up two days ago. He didn’t want to burden anyone or act like a paranoid idiot, but he couldn’t help but feel a deep terror over what would happen if the dark sides caught him. Logan had reassured him that there was no way for them to get in, but the fear remained. Irrational feelings that whenever he drew near the door to his room the door would swing open and someone would drag him inside, which lead him to his current predicament. 

Roman turned to Virgil just outside the purple door of his room. 

“If there is anyone in there, I’ll protect you,” he said, tapping the flat edge of his sword against his shoulder. 

Virgil chewed on his lower lips as he rubbed his arm with a bruising force, his eyes trained on the slowly opening door. Roman walked in first, glanced around before turning back to Virgil with a warm smile. 

“Your room appears to be empty of any unwanted company. Shall we venture over to your closet?” Roman suggested. 

Virgil took a breath and followed him into the darker room, looking around every shadowy corner as he made his way over to open the closet. Roman stood by his side, watching him carefully for any sign Virgil needed to leave. 

Patton had brought most of Virgil’s more comfortable clothing into Logan’s room so Virgil wouldn’t have to return to his own but there weren’t really any nicer outfits that he felt he could wear to the date Roman was planning for that night, not that he even knew what they would be doing. It was the date with the intention to “woo” him into being their boyfriend. He had already made up his mind that he was going to say yes unless there was a sign they didn’t actually want it. If they wanted this badly then who was he to deny them, it wasn’t like he didn’t feel the exact same way. His chest was clenching at the thought of what would happen when he did accept, however. He knew some people would expect sex right after they began a relationship, he didn’t think the light sides were like that but part of him wondered if they were. He knew they were all sexually intimate, they could have had enough waiting with each other and didn’t want to deal with him. He would let them do whatever they wanted but he still worried about the idea of being able to handle it. Surely he’d ruin their enjoyment if he started crying during it. Even if they didn’t want sex yet they surely would want a kiss. Would he be able to kiss properly? Deceit had made him kiss him several times but he always complained about how bad of a kisser he was. What if he kissed them and they hated it so much they sent him back to the dark sides? 

“Stormcloud, are you alright? You’re breathing a little quickly and ummm… You’ve gotten a bit fuzzier… Is there anything I can do to help you, love? Perhaps aid you in your task or lead you through some breathing exercises?” Roman said worriedly. 

Virgil snapped out of his trance and realized he had been standing there staring into the closet for several minutes completely lost in thought. Meanwhile his feline attributes had popped up in response to his mind’s anxious ramblings, giving himself away to the prince behind him.