Meaning Of A Purr (Sanders Sides - LAMP Fic)

Chapter 26: Never Again

Trigger warnings: Being stuck in a toxic/abusive situation, blood, injury, and a slight bit of dissociation. I think that is it, please tell me if I am wrong. To give a perspective on time frames this chapter takes place both before and after the previous chapter. Anyways, as always take care of yourselves and thank you for reading.

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Virgil let out an exhausted groan as he blinked open his eyes to the dark room. It was really cold and the air around him almost seemed heavy, like it was trying to crush him. Even in his groggy state of mind he knew where he was, the dark side of the mindscape. He was also aware that he felt clean and there were loose shorts covering the lower half of his body. 

“About time you woke up, I haven’t been waiting for several hours,” a voice hissed behind him. 

Virgil stiffened and turned to look at the snake-like man who was resting by a partially open door, his silhouette outlined by the dull glow coming through the crack. Virgil’s hand instinctively went to his chest to grab for his ring but found nothing there. His heart sank realizing the precious item was no longer there, and when his fingers trailed higher he found his collar in its place. 

“Are you looking for that silly little collar your exs gave you?” Deceit asked with knowing hum. “I took the liberty of getting rid of it for you. Don’t want any reminders of them, now do we, Virgil?” 

Virgil visibly relaxed a little when addressed by name, realizing Deceit wasn’t actually angry right now. It still didn’t outway the hurt that came with the fact Virgil’s precious ring was gone, just like his life with the lights. He could feel the pain tearing through his chest as he held back the tears that threatened to well up in his eyes. 

“Come now Virgil, don’t look like that. You’re back where you belong. You know how important you are to me and to my plan to protect Thomas. Isn’t that what you want? To protect Thomas?” Deceit hummed, his fingers loosely grabbing Virgil’s chin. 

Virgil had heard those words thousands of times and honestly, he couldn’t tell if Deceit was lying anymore or if Deceit honestly believed his own words. After all, after lying about the same facts for so long, it can start to become one's reality.Virgil didn’t know everything about Deceit’s plan, but much to Deceit’s despair he knew more than any of the other dark sides. He was the only one who put the facts together and realized the truth behind what a “dark side” really was. Deceit only had himself to blame for that, for pushing Virgil so hard to become what he wanted him to be. 

Deceit had been the fourth side Thomas manifested into an individual identity, Logan, Patton, and the elusive side Sleep, otherwise known as Remy, coming before him. Back then however, he was self-preservation. The three controlling decision making got along well until one of his lies got Thomas into trouble. After that Logan and Patton came to the conclusion that telling the truth was better than the outcome of getting caught lying. Deceit felt betrayed after that and tried to fight back and make Thomas lie more. That was the break in trust between the two factions. Deceit tried to ask for Remy’s help in convincing the other two but he didn’t want to get involved in anything since he was rarely around anyways, choosing instead to live in the abstract depths of Thomas’s mind where dreams are created. Deceit left the front, moving deep into the subconscious and began stealing sides before Logan and Patton knew they existed. While they were young and impressionable, still not quite understanding themselves, Deceit would mold them into something similar to their intended purpose but would be more beneficial for “protecting Thomas” from the world and corrupt society. The only one Deceit missed was Creativity, King Romulus. However, even that righted itself when Thomas himself separated the twins and was able to take advantage of the moral and logical side’s discomfort around Remus to take him off their hands. Remus was the only one he had never had to do any work on, he just encouraged his behavior and let him be himself. Virgil was the last and Deceit saw him as the key to finally being able to influence Thomas. All Deceit had to do was turn the timid side into “Paranoia”. To do that he made his life a living hell, never knowing when something painful or frightening would happen, always keeping him guessing and on his toes. He only halfway succeeded, ending up with “Anxiety” instead. He hasn’t stopped trying to make Virgil something more. Virgil didn’t know for sure what he was supposed to be but he had always speculated about what he, Rage, Greed, and Vanity used to be before Deceit got into their head. His theory was that he was probably “Causion” or, the one he liked better, “Vigilance”.