Meaning Of A Purr (Sanders Sides - LAMP Fic)

Chapter 28: Let me Protect You

Hello again everyone, thank you so much for being so understanding about the wait for this chapter. I've been swamped with work all week. Hopefully this chapter will be worth the wait? I don't know. Anyways this chapter contains minor mentions of blood, references to abuse and acceptance of being stuck in bad circumstances. I think that is it, tell me if I'm wrong. As always take care of yourselves and thank you for reading.

(Ps. In respect of anyone who hasn't watched the newest Sanders Sides episodes please do not mention any spoilers in the comments for like at least a week maybe. I didn't get a chance to watch it last night and I already had someone spoil part of it in their fic before I could watch it this morning so don't spoil it for anyone else, please!)

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"We need a plan of where to look first, we can't just wander around aimlessly and expect not to get in a fight," Logan sighed. "We need to get in and out as fast as possible and preferably avoid more injuries than I'm imagining I'll have to take care of on Virgil."
"I say we slay them all while we are here. They deserve it after what they have done to our Stormcloud," Roman argued.
"You are the only one of us here suited for physical combat, Roman. I do not expect Greed or Vanity to be suited for it either but that still leaves three others who would likely cause at least some degree of injury if you confronted them at the same time, which would happen if you cause a scene," Logan replied.
Roman let out an annoyed groan, rolling his eyes.
"Where should we look first? You don't think he's in one of their bedrooms, do you?" Patton asked, trying to change the topic back to the problem at hand.
After everything they had heard from Virgil, and from what Patton had witnessed, none of them would be surprised if he had been trapped in one of their rooms for some awful purpose. Logan looked back at the door before looking at the group again, tapping his foot in thought.
"What time is it?" Logan asked, beginning to scan the room for a clock.
"It's three, nearly four," Remy replied looking down at his phone.
Logan let out a thoughtful hum, playing with his tie a bit.
"I'd assume from what we know about them that they aren't close enough to spend much time together unless they had to. Running of that, they are likely all in their own individual rooms. It'd be best to avoid their rooms until we know for sure that is where Virgil is. I cannot stress enough that we do not want them to know we are here until after Virgil is safe. Thus, I believe we should try downstairs first, even if it does seem less likely," Logan stated. "Remy you are the only one here who knows how to pass between the two rooms, I need you to wait for us here in case we have to make a quick getaway or if things go poorly and we have to send Virgil here ahead of us to get him back to our end of the mindscape."
"So you guys get to go have an adventure and I get to sit around a room that smells like something literally died in it, sipping at my coffee?" Remy asked, raising a brow.
"Remy please?" Patton pleaded, looking up at the older side.
"Ugh, fine, but Creativity has to summon me to a chair that isn't likely contaminated by god knows what," Remy sighed.
Roman nodded in agreement and summoned a large plush chair for Remy. The leather clad man plopped down in the chair, his coffee refilling as he swirled it around.
"Bye bye now, don't go getting yourselves killed," Remy said, wiggling his fingers in a dismissive wave.
Roman pulled open the door and was met with a net of wooden boards, all of the gaps far too tiny of any of them to fit through.
"Maybe we can sink out?" Roman chuckled nervously.
They attempted to will themselves to sink out but they remained standing in the same room.
"Now what?" Patton asked, biting his lips nervously.
"Now, I break down this barrier," Roman replied.
"They'll hear that, Roman. And if they don't hear it then they will definitely see it. Again, I'd advise attempting not be found until we ensure Virgil is safe," Logan insisted.
Patton held his arms, a dark expression crossing his face.
"Ro... for the most part you have the same abilities as Remus, correct?" Patton asked, waiting for Roman to agree before continuing. "Remus was able to make this soundproof, invisible barrier last night. Can you make the same thing? If you can then we won't have to worry about sound and we can just pull the boards at the very bottom off, just enough that we can crawl out and put them in here so they probably won't notice that either unless they are paying attention."
"Splendid idea Patton. Roman, can you accomplish this?" Logan asked.
"I think so," Roman replied.
Roman focused on the area just outside of the door and created a soundproof cap to surround it.
"That should do it, I think? How should we go about this? I don't think a crowbar will work well from this side and I'm willing to bet that setting it on fire is on your list of noticeable things," Roman hummed, looking over at Roman.
Before Logan could reply Remy let out a sigh and slumped dramatically in his chair.
"Bitch, you silenced the room. Just kick them out. I've seen you work out Girl, not exactly a challenge," he said.
Roman looked at Logan for any sign of objection and when he didn't receive any he began kicking out the wood, snapping out the middle so he could later use his hands to work the wood connected by nails out of the door frame. The process was much slower than any of them would have liked. Logan and Patton were growing nervous that they'd get caught the longer time went on, all it would take is for one dark side to leave their room and they might not be able to save Virgil. Remy was doing his best to relax them with his influence without having to actually send them to sleep, but he could only do so much when they were stuck in a house that seemed to increase the unease inside of them the longer they stayed there. It was heavy, oppressive, nerve-wracking. They needed to get out of here and find Virgil now.
"I think it's big enough now," Roman said, wiping sweat from his brow.
Patton couldn't help but wince when he saw how red and blistered Roman's hands were from trying to get the last of the wood off by hand. The broken boards had cut at the skin leaving behind blood and splinters.
"Splendid work Roman," Logan said, patting him on the shoulder, before he knelt down and looked out into the hallway. "We better go now before our good fortune thus far runs out."
Logan and Roman began slowly crawling out the door but Patton hesitated.
"Will you be okay by yourself?" Patton asked, looking back at Remy worriedly.
"Don't worry about me, babe. Find your boo so we can all blow this place," Remy replied, a small smile curling on the corners of his lips as they wrapped around the straw of his drink.
Patton let out a small breath and nodded to him before following after the other two. The three of them pulled the door closed and Roman dismissed the soundproof barrier. They then made their way downstairs, Logan in the lead, moving as quickly and quietly as they were able. They were careful to glance around for any movement before going downstairs, ensuring it was in fact safe for them to look around. Once at the base of the stairs they split up to check the kitchen and living room for any signs of their missing boyfriend but came up empty handed.
"This place gives me the creeps. How can anyone actually live here?" Roman complained as they reconvened, keeping his voice relatively quiet.
"I ask many questions about how they do the things they do," Logan replied.
"I don't think Virgil is down here. Does that mean we need to check rooms?" Patton asked.
"I suppose so. I'd assume that Deceit's room is the most likely place for him to be kept in. I'm sure Roman is thrilled about the confrontation that will entail. Correct Roman?" Logan said knowingly.
When the creative side didn't reply he turned back to look at him. He found Roman hadn't been paying attention to him but was instead staring at the door under the stairs.
"Roman?" Logan asked again.
"Did you guys hear that?" Roman asked.
"Hear what?" Patton asked, growing pale with fear.
"I thought I heard something. Like a gasp maybe? And like shuffling fabric," Roman said.
Roman drew closer to the door and placed his hand on the knob before looking over at the others for a sign he should stop. When they gave him a nod he pulled open the door he was met with a soft hiss and something flinching away from the light. Roman opened the door further and his jaw dropped upon seeing the younger man staring back at him with wide eyes, his hand covering his mouth.
"Virgil!" Roman cried out in relief.
The addressed man was sitting on the floor of the small room that smelled of dried blood. A black collar clung tightly to his pale throat, a short leash connecting the loop at the front to the wall. His cat ears were pressed low against the tangled mess of his hair and his tail was wrapped around his mostly bare legs protectively.
Virgil watched the three figures rushing in towards him, his stomach twisting.
"You're here..." Virgil breathed, his voice heavy with dread.
"Of course we are my beautiful knight," Roman replied softly.
He reached forward to remove the offensive leash connecting Virgil to the wall. He couldn't understand why Virgil hadn't done so himself, it was a simple clasp that he could easily reach. When Virgil realized what Roman was doing he quickly moved his hand to stop him.
"You... you shouldn't be here. You need to leave," Virgil said, his voice sounding uncertain at first but growing harder as he looked away from them.
"Okay, we'll all leave here once we get you free," Patton replied, kneeling down on the other side of Virgil, keeping his distance, unlike Roman who was sitting nearly on top of him.
Virgil could feel a pang in his chest when he remembered exactly how Patton had seen him the night before. He probably thought Virgil was disgusting now.
"No, the three of you need to leave. I'm not coming with you. They'll just keep coming after me. It's the inevitable outcome, I've accepted that," Virgil replied, forcing his best smile as he looked down at his hands which were now playing with the fur of his tail.
At least this time, he'd get a proper goodbye. It hurt and he'd miss all of those precious days he'd spent with them more than anything else. They'd be better off without him anyways, they'd realize it soon enough even if they might not see it now.
"You can't tell me that is what you really want. You cannot just sit back and accept their abuse because they won't leave you alone," Logan argued sitting down so the three of them were now in a semi-circle around him.
"I want to keep you all safe. I can do that by staying here. I know how to keep them from getting to Thomas and if I'm here, they have no reason to go after any of you. Please, let me do my job, let me protect you," Virgil said, curling in on himself a little, his hands squeezing lightly around his tail.
"No! This is not the time to be selfless, Virgil. We are bringing you back home. We can't just leave here knowing what they are going to do to you," Roman explained, his voice raising with his growing emotions.
"Quiet down!" Virgil hissed. "If he realizes you are here it's going to be bad for all of us. Please, all of you need to go before then. I can't stand the idea of any of you getting hurt."
"We can't either. We love you, we won't let this continue. Not again. We can't let you sacrifice yourself for us again," Patton said, his eyes tearing up.
"I don't want any of you to go through that again, Patton. If I go back it'll just keep happening. They might do worse to you than just tying you to a chair. I can take what they give, I've been trained for years to handle them, you guys haven't. Them getting me back, them hurting me, manipulating me, corrupting me, it's all inevitable. I don't want you guys stuck in that cross fire," Virgil pleaded.
He could feel the pain in his chest growing but he tried his best to suppress it. He had to do what's best for everyone. He couldn't be selfish and let his own emotions get in the way.
"Stop worrying about us for a second and think about yourself. Think about what they have done to you and will do to you. If you stay here, you will not be able to escape that treatment," Logan reasoned.
"It's... I'm not scared of them. They've already probably done the worst things they can physically do to me. I don't have any reason to be afraid, so don't worry, I'll be fine," Virgil replied, dropping his tail back onto his lap.
They could all see the way his shoulders sagged and his eyes went dead. He looked hopeless, defeated. It was heartbreaking to see, all of the growth and confidence he had obtained during their relationship seemed to slip further and further away the more he spoke.
"Falsehood!" Logan paused a moment when he was quickly shushed by Virgil. "You say you aren't afraid but everything else you've said during this conversation proves you are afraid. You might be currently repressing your own fear of what is happening to you in exchange for the easier acceptance, a common coping mechanism for children with severe and frequent childhood abuse, however you're still afraid. You're afraid of what will happen to us if we get tangled into your situation. That's the only reason you're doing and saying the things you are, correct?"
Virgil bit his lower lip and clung to the front of his jacket as Logan spoke, tear burning at his eyes. Logan is always too observant for his own good. Virgil could bring himself to deny those claims because it was true. He was terrified by the thought of any of them getting hurt, especially by the dark sides. Remus knew that, and thinking back to what had happened last night it seemed Deceit knew that as well. It was only a matter of time before Deceit used that against him.
"If I'm not afraid they can't hurt Thomas. I'm supposed to be his protector but I am too afraid of every little thing. Please let me do the brave thing here," Virgil pleaded, a few stray tears managing to leak out of his eyes.
"The brave thing is coming back with us in spite of your fears of us getting hurt. Virgil, we are aware of how they got into our mindscape. It was the same way we arrived here. It was your room. Because the mind made a space for you in two different places they are both connected. If one of them is destroyed it will break the connection permanently. If you leave with us we can make sure it gets closed," Logan explained.
"But if you don't come with us they'll be the ones to close that entrance and we won't be able to reach each other anymore. This is our only chance to get you out of here, please, come with us," Roman pleaded, barely resisting the urge to touch and hold Virgil in his arms to stop his trembling.
"Even if they can't get in the house they will still be there. They'll just go back to bothering Thomas. We can't all avoid visiting Thomas in the real world forever, he needs us. What happens if they grab one of you there?" Virgil argued, his fingers tightening even further on the fabric of his hoodie.
"Remy's helping us and he knows a lot about the subconscious mind. He'll probably be able to help. We can find a way to repress them or lock them away here forever. We'll figure out something. We... We've just gotta have hope things'll work out," Patton said, his brow pinching with emotion.
Virgil looked down, he didn't know what to think right now. He really wanted to go with them, but knew he shouldn't get his hopes up. They promised he'd be safe last time too, look where that led him. He didn't know if he could ever be free. The dark sides seemed so much stronger than him, he felt like he'd always be under their thumb. It was impossible for him to be free. If he built himself up they would just make a game of knocking him back down, they had already proved that to him. He loved them, he wanted them to be safe and happy, but he also wanted to be with them.
"I-"
Virgil's words immediately cut off when a shadow crossed over the door. Dread filled his every sense as his body went tense. He looked up across from him where Patton sat facing the door and saw the moral side had gone white with terror.
"My, my, look what we have here? I thought I heard voices," A voice hummed.
Roman went to hold Virgil protectively but Virgil reacted first, using his arm to scoop all three of them into a protected position in the back of the closet. Virgil shifted in front of them as best as he could with the short leash. Virgil looked up at where Deceit stood and the feeling of dread and hopelessness grew when he noticed the four other dark sides standing behind him. Virgil glanced between the two groups and the room started to feel so much smaller, his collar so much tighter. His head was screaming a chant to stay calm for the sake of everyone he cared about, but if things went wrong right now the people he cared about would definitely be hurt. This wasn't just him, he'd be able to handle this if it was just him.
"I thought I made it clear that Virgil would be staying here now. I sure hope you weren't all intending to change that behind my back," Deceit said with a frighteningly sweet tone.
"Why you-"
Virgil reached behind him and tightly gripped Roman's hand to silence him.
"That wasn't going to happen, Master. I've already explained to them that I will be staying here. They were just leaving," Virgil replied in the calmest voice he could muster.
He glanced back at the others giving them a pleading look, begging them to sink out now. He had wanted to go with them, but now he only wanted them to save themselves. This was fate's way of choosing his destiny. Being with them just wasn't meant to be. Despite all of his hope none of them left. Virgil had known they likely wouldn't but he really hoped they'd understand the unnecessary dangers they were putting themselves and Virgil through. Virgil felt pressure building up in his chest and a sting behind his eyes and he turned his gaze back to Deceit.
"What have I said about lying to me, Kitty?" Deceit hissed.
Virgil refrained from flinching at the implications that title brought. He had to stay strong for all of them, protect them from the others.
"I was not lying. They are going to leave here without me. Just like you want," Virgil insisted.
"Why don't we just make sure they won't be wanting to come back."
Virgil had seen that smile too many times before. He knew when it meant he was plotting something unpleasant. No matter what it was, he couldn't let it happen. He couldn't let them suffer because of him any more. Without putting much thought into what he was doing he unlatched the leash and stood up, moving forward to block the door, preventing any of the dark sides from getting in.
"Don't touch them," Virgil said, keeping his gaze level with Deceit's.
"Are you disobeying me?" Deceit growled, warning Virgil to back down now.
Virgil swallowed heavily looking at the angry expression on Deceit's face. He could hear Rage's knuckles cracking off to his side and see that Remus had already summoned his mace. He knew Roman was ready to jump into a fight but the last thing he wanted was to put any of them in any more danger. He needed to protect them. He wouldn't let anyone touch them, not again. Virgil's gaze hardened and he took a more solid, steady stance.
"I guess I am," Virgil replied.