Meaning Of A Purr (Sanders Sides - LAMP Fic)

Chapter 64: Late Night Love

Sorry this is like a half hour late, I literally wrote most of it in the past three hours because I've been so busy packing, shopping, and then moving in to my college dorm I had no time to write, but I still wanted to get the chapter out so, here it is. Anyways this chapter includes struggling with trauma, self-blaming, mentions of nightmares, mentions of rape and abuse, mentions of that flash stick, mentions of sexual intimacy, and sexual content. Have fun. As always take care of yourselves and thank you for reading.

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Something felt off. Something felt wrong. He was struggling in the darkness fighting to see. Weird. Wrong. Off.

Virgil blinked open his eyes. He would have screamed at what he saw if he hadn't choked on his own gasp. He had not expected to wake up to someone staring at his face. He muffled his coughing in his hands to prevent waking anyone else up, a hand soothing over his back to make sure he was okay.

"Patton? Can I ask why you are causally watching me sleep in the middle of the night?" Virgil asked.

"Sorry Kitten, didn't mean to scare you," Patton apologized.

Virgil frowned a little at how Patton avoided the question. Even in the dark Virgil could see the red of Patton's eyes and face. The last time Patton had watched him sleeping was when he had trouble sleeping but wasn't sleeping right after the kidnapping. He should have expected this after the video he'd seen two days ago.

"Come on, let's go downstairs so we don't wake the others up," Virgil suggested, sitting up to find a path out of the bed without disturbing Roman or Logan.

He ended up leading Patton down to the end of the bed and over the short footboard. They silently made their way out of his bedroom and into the mindscape. He was relieved to see the naturally dark haze that floated over the mindscape meaning Remy had managed to keep Thomas asleep in spite of the scare Virgil had had a few moments ago.

The two of them made their way down to the living room and Virgil sat Patton down on the couch, taking the seat beside him.

"Alright, how about you tell me what's really bothering you. Was it the nightmares again?" Virgil asked, resting a hand on Patton's knee.

Patton looked down at his hands, his expression instantly becoming sadder.

"I'm sorry. It's just seeing you like that again..." Patton trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Hey, there is nothing to be sorry for. If I'm allowed to have breakdowns because of my traumatic experiences that you are most certainly allowed to do the same," Virgil said.

"But you have more of a right to be upset about what happened the other day and besides the Thomas issue you barely batted an eye at it," Patton exclaimed.

"Patton, there is no person who has more of a right to feel a certain way. You are valid in all of your feelings. I've been through a lot. Small things like that, they aren't going to get to me for very long. But seeing that would obviously remind you of a very bad situation that you were forced to endure, I'm not at all surprised you are having nightmares again," Virgil explained.

"It wasn't that bad, I don't really want to worry anyone," Patton insisted.

"How did you used to fall asleep before when you had nightmares?" Virgil asked.

Patton's cheeks darkened.

"I, uh, that's-that's not important," he stammered.

Virgil's mind helpfully supplied what Patton had been doing with Roman during that period of time and he felt his own face flush a rosey pink.