Meaning Of A Purr (Sanders Sides - LAMP Fic)

Chapter 69: Ready

It's finally done. The chapter is finally done. Frick yeah. I hope it's alright. Also this is the chapter I stubbornly wanted to fall on chapter 69, I know, I am very childish but I want to have my fun. Lol. Anyways there are a decent few references to Virgil's past and trauma other than that most of this is just unholy smut, here is your holy water and go enjoy. If you can't tell I'm tired. Anyways, as always take care of yourselves and thank you for reading!!!

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There were multiple things Virgil had been thinking about recently. After accidentally seeing Roman and Logan together he'd become a bit more aware of the reality that they wouldn't hurt him. It was obviously still intimidating but he really wanted to try. There was one issue with that however, no matter how much he thought about it, he couldn't decide who he wanted to be with. They were all amazing but different so he wasn't sure which would be the best option for his first try. There was always his usual first instinct of Logan. Logan was always a great person to try new things with, he was patient and understanding, he could give answers to his weird questions. He trusted Logan to be that steady presence that would always keep him happy. However he had been with Logan most recently and he'd technically already been with Logan twice, even if one of those was a failed attempt. He really trusted Logan but he didn't want to cause any jealousy. The person he hadn't been with the longest was Patton who was always a good choice and had in fact been the one to actually bring the topic up which could mean he wanted to. Patton was always fun to be around, he didn't make him feel like there was any pressure to keep any form of structure to what they were doing, everything could just happen spontaneously. Then again that also meant he'd never really done things with Patton by asking for them beforehand. On top of that Patton had warned him he had the least amount of experience which meant, although Logan said all of them were experienced enough he shouldn't be hurt, it still would probably be better with one of the other two for his first try. Then there was Roman, Roman was so passionate and could sweep him up into a thoughtless whirl of passion if he so chose to. Being with his was great and his presence felt like he was being protected. Although he'd seen him bottoming for Logan his experience with Roman always made him feel rather submissive and wanting to give himself up to Roman, which he couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Roman was a bit quicker with things than Logan and Patton and wasn't necessarily as careful, although he'd never harm Virgil in any way. It was just, less predictable yet still rigid in it's pre-planning of what would happen. That paired with the fact he tended to get swept into that passionate energy Roman always gave him, could potentially see it having a few downfalls. He really couldn't decide and he knew they would likely not suggest something that sensitive again out of fear of upsetting him, much less suggest trying it. To be honest he just kind of wanted to ask all of them, they balanced each other out so well. He wondered if that was even possible. There really wasn't any harm in asking.

That night at the end of dinner Virgil knew he was going to ask. He was really hoping not to be rejected but his request might be a bit strange so it wouldn't be unbelievable for them to not really want to do it.

"Hey Nightmare, you've been pretty quiet. Everything okay?" Roman asked.

Virgil blinked in surprise.

"I, uh, yeah, just thinking," Virgil stammered.

It was nearly when he was planning on telling them but he still hadn't actually figured out how to ask them. He was not mentally prepared to speak yet. He was fairly certain all of the others at the dinner table could feel the anxiety radiating off of him as he tried to rush finding the proper words to say.

"Virgil, if something is bothering you we are more than willing to talk about it. You have been thinking this entire dinner, I doubt you've heard a single word we've said," Logan stated worriedly.