Meaning Of A Purr (Sanders Sides - LAMP Fic)

Chapter 70: Past and Future

Hey guys. Here it is, I hope that this is a satisfying ending for you. Trigger warnings for this chapter include violence and panic attacks, as well as mentions of rape, PTSD, and trauma. I hope you all enjoy, take care of yourselves and thank you for reading.

~~~

Virgil bit back a scream of fear and pain as he was thrown to the ground. He whimpered up at the figure now crouching over him menacingly.

"Aww, you look scared. Well you should be you little shit," Rage growled, his claws flexing dangerously.

Virgil knew to stay silent and still. Those claws were so close, Rage wouldn't hesitate to hurt him when he was in one of his moods. He'd no idea what he'd done, he did all of his chores perfectly, he didn't get in anyone's way, he most certainly didn't provoke anyone. He was just sitting in his bedroom minding his own business and Rage just suddenly attacked him.

"Now, why don't you stay here like a good little boy while I go suggest to Deceit that we have a little demonstration of what happens when we are bad, huh? Maybe I can even convince Remus to give me a hand, he always has some great ideas for how to make sure you feel your punishments for a while," Rage laughed, picking him up by the collar of his hoodie only to slam him back down onto the floor.

It hurt. He didn't want to be punished. He hadn't done anything wrong. By the sounds of it Rage just wanted to use him as a punching bag today, if Remus agreed he was going to be tortured. He didn't want it. He'd been good. It wasn't fair that there was no way for him to fully avoid their wrath. He couldn't do it. He couldn't deal with this.

He looked up at the open door Rage had just disappeared through and for the first time his mind went quiet. He didn't think, he just acted. He knew their schedules, he knew the house, it was all too easy to do what he'd never dared to do before. Out of his room, down the hall, down the stairs, and exiting the front door. He genuinely laughed when he stepped foot into the subconscious mind again for the first time since he formed years ago. He'd actually walked out. He'd walked away from them. He'd walked away from them. He was going to be in so much trouble. They were going to literally kill him if they found out. He needed to go back inside before they realized he left. They could have already realized he'd left. To be honest there really was no difference between them finding out and not not finding out, they were going to hurt him either way. He'd have to face them at some point. But, if he could hope for something just a little better, even just for a second, it should be worth it to look. He wasn't sure if he should even dare to have that hope. He couldn't hide in the subconscious forever, from the best of his knowledge the only side capable of properly navigating it and surviving it was Remy, he was dreams and controlled Thomas's functions more than thoughts, he wasn't like everyone else, he was illusive and distant from their realities.

"I'll be around if you need me. If you think you're going to have another panic attack and there is no one to help you my door is always open. I love taking care of my kiddos so it's no problem really. You can come over and stay there for as long as you need. Ro can seem a bit scary but he is not all bad and Logan is reasonable, we aren't people to be scared of. Please remember that, okay?"

Patton's words from the second time he'd met him rang through his head. He'd made a promise that day to not let himself trust those words. Patton probably didn't actually think Virgil would ever take him up on it. He was just pretending to be nice, no one wanted him around, everyone hated him. If it were true, he'd be safe for a second, he'd get to feel that warmth again. He could be hugged and talked to softly and see that genuine cute smile Patton wore. He felt selfish but he had a feeling even if Patton didn't mean it he would still let him stay for a bit. Even if Logan tried to pry into his life or Roman insulted him, anything would be better than his hell.