Meaning Of A Purr (Sanders Sides - LAMP Fic)

Chapter 63: Honest Truth

Morning, or night, I don't know when people read this. I've got some trigger warnings for this. Disturbing/strange imagery, a lot of swearing, discussions about rape, abuse, and manipulation. Also a lot of crying and panicking and negative thoughts. Anyways, as always take care of yourselves and thank you for reading.

~~~

Virgil rose up in Thomas's living room, tears burning at his eyes while his lungs burned with the air he failed to take in. Thomas knew; Thomas saw what had happened to him. They all did. Someone must have found the flash stick. With the note around it he couldn't really blame them for looking but, he wished he'd hidden it better. He shouldn't have kept it. He should have known something like this was going to happen. He was so stupid. They'd all seen it, whatever awful clip they had seen couldn't be good for them, especially Patton. Poor Thomas. He shouldn't have learned about this like that, Virgil didn't want him to ever even know in the first place.

"Whiskers? Damn you're here all alone? You've got some balls coming here alone, either that or you were hoping something bad would happen," he heard Remus chuckle.

No, he couldn't deal with him right now. He couldn't move or even think properly. Remus might hurt him and there wasn't anything he could do about it.

"Wouldn't have expected Ro-Bro and the others to let ya come by yourself. Did you guys get in a fight? Oh, are you going to move back in with us?" Remus asked, a mischievous smile clear in his tone.

Virgil couldn't turn to look at him, he just pulled in on himself, still unable to breath. He was so stupid. He deserved anything that happened to him, he shouldn't have let Thomas find out. He shouldn't have burdened Thomas.

Virgil screamed out in fear when a hand grabbed his shoulder, but he could only shake and cry, unable to run away.

"Emo?"

"Don't hurt me," Virgil whispered brokenly.

Remus drew away and glared at the back of Virgil's head, his hands now on his hips.

"Well that fucken hurts like using sriracha sauce as nasal spray. I've been nothing but a perfect saint for you and those other lame shit nuggets. I already told you that G, Van, and I agreed to not go after you anymore and obviously Dee doesn't remember any of that," Remus scoffed defensively.

When Virgil made no reply Remus just rolled his eyes and forcibly turned Virgil towards him. Virgil held his sides and sank to the floor at Remus's feet. He couldn't deal with this right now. He just wanted Remus to leave him alone. He had no guarantee Remus was telling the truth. They'd said that dozens of times before just to break him every chance they got. Apparently he had told the truth about the drive though. That stupid drive, the reason Thomas now knew about his past.

"I, uh, those are tears. This is a panic attack right? You've had those before. We usually just ignored them... Are we supposed to ignore them? You know, like, how Thomas ignores me?" Remus asked, his composure suddenly dropping to portray visible ques of how awkward he felt.

Virgil wanted Logan here, Logan was good with this. Patton and Roman were too, he wanted them here as well. Anyone but Remus would do.

"Is this an issue maybe Double Dee can deal with?" Remus tried.

Virgil let out a loud, panicked whine. Not Deceit, he'd take Remus over Deceit any day. Even if Deceit had forgotten everything that didn't change the past of what he'd done to him and the fact that he was easily the worst to him in terms of all forms of abuse.

"I'm just saying, he's good with the whole 'the worlds not falling apart' and 'it's not your fault' kind of lie situations," Remus said, holding up his hands defensively. "Plus like he's the easiest to get here. Only other person I can potentially fetch is Remy and who the hell knows where he is most of the time. He would also be pretty good at this. He could knock you out for a while. Possibly forever probably. Hah, wouldn't that be nice. Sleeping forever, never having to face any real problems anymore. Your body will slowly deteriorate from the lack of food and water, your skin turning ashy and green, and it'd be all wrinkly and sunken in. But you wouldn't know or care because you're in a peaceful never ending dream that eventually becomes your new reality. Meanwhile on the outside all of your loved ones are crying and falling deeper into depression, destroying themselves and Thomas in the process, nothing ever being the same again."