Wdw sickfics

Z.H- bad thoughts.

*i had this idea at like 2 am. it hits hard to home. ill explain at the end...*
*this is also going to be a longer chapter due to what info i have to put into it*

zachs pov

hi.

this is my story.

so i have these things called thanatophobia, doomsday phobia, and spacephobia.

fear of death or dying, the end of the world, and space and what it holds.

ive always been scared of what comes next but when i was around six years old i had a thought.

we are all going to die. were going to leave everyone we love behind. it can be now or in 70 years, you dont know. its just like were living then were not, it happens in a blink of an eye.

that idea stuck in my head for years. by years i mean i still think about it till this day. 12 years and im still deathly afraid of dying. i know its a natural thing that we all will go through but it feels like when you die everything is just gone. no one knows what happens when you die cause were all living.

do we forget everything and start another life? do we go to heaven or hell? do we just get swallowed by a void and then there is just nothing?

nobody knows.

age seven. i was eating dinner with my family when i had to excuse myself from the table before i broke down. this is when i started thinking about what objects hurtling to earth from outer space could do to us. this fear came after my friends brother told us both that there was this possible meteor that was supposed to hit earth on this certain day. i made the mistake of looking it up on YouTube which got me sucked into a wormhole of fear. everyday i would see the same types of videos on my feed which made my fear grow immensly. and i did nothing about it but hide from everything.

age eight. this is where things started to get bad. as i grew older, my mind started to mature more which in turn, made me think more terrifying things. i was in such a bad place at one point, i could and would cry in a snap of your fingers. you put a thought into my head that 'triggered' one of my fears, i would overthink it and tears will flow. i could barely be left alone cause thats when i over thought everything. i remember one day, i was so vulnerable that being alone in the shower for 10 minutes was enough to send my mind into overdrive. i walked into that bathroom with a smile but walked out with tears lining my face.

age nine. things took a little bit of a turn. i got more into looking up these asteroids and developed a new fear. phonophobia. fear of loud noises. why you may ask? i always thought that if we did have a asteroid come near earth and possibly hit us all, it would be extremely loud. i only got scared if the sound came from outside. i always looked outside when i heard a plane go by just to be sure i was safe. i rarely went outside, being scared of what could happen to me. these fears grew up with me. they got more intense as i got older, especially at this age.

*a bit graphic im sorry...*

i had this one dream, so bad thinking about it makes me want to cry. it wasn't even a dream or a nightmare. it was just a thought, well that's what it started as.

i was coming home from my grandparents house and i overheard my parents talking about the topic of just death and dying. keep in mind, no one knew about my fear. that's half the reason why it was so bad, cause i never said anything about it and just kept everything bottled up. the topic moved slowly to suicide. my mind took control of everything and sent me into a spiral of depression.

think about this.

imagine being nine years old with a very real fear that no one knows about. overhearing a conversation that makes something click in your head.