Pieces Of Aamirah

Chapter thrity-one

Nigeria, Abuja.

Part three; Not A Word.

Hello Ya Ashraf,

Sorry for leaving you hanging the last time. The nurse walked in on me so I had to stop writing and take my drugs. After that, I fell asleep.

I can remember the day clearly. A week after HIS first trip to my room. You came home.

I was so happy and emotional to see you.

When you hugged me, I wanted to tell you everything but I never had the chance.

That was the day you found a job after a long search. I was so happy and thankful to Allah for small miracles. But when I found out your job requires you to stay most nights out (guarding the mall) I was devastated.

That means more pain.

More crying. More begging. More memories. More pain, pain, pain. I could barely move when he finished with me in the night.

Sometimes, I will just lay on the floor helplessly and cry. And pray. And Call Allah's name under my breath. And cry some more before finally falling asleep.

Back to that day, HE didn't give me a chance to talk to you.

Everytime I ask to talk to you, HE brings up another boring topic of his luring you into spending time with him.

I was so angry.

I left for my room praying for some alone time with you but I never got the chance.

Somehow, we bumped in the kitchen. Just me and him. You were in the mosque praying and Aunty Hafsat and the kids were out.

I was frightened. He pinned me to the fridge digging his nails into my arms.

Immediately the tears started. I closed my eyes tight waiting for the pain. The feel of his hand on me but it never came. Instead, I got the warning..

"Do not tell a single soul anything. If not, God help me, I will kill you. I'm the only family you have left! Obey me!"

No. No. No.

You are not my family!

What type of family plays such games?

"Not A Word!" He said slowly before forcing his lips on mine.

Before I could blink, he left to join you in the mosque.

I wondered all day long.. what type of man is he?! Is he even human?!

That is the reason I never told you Ya Ashraf and I deeply sorry for you and for myself.

I am sorry this happened to me.

I am sorry I didn't tell you.

I am sorry my father left us in the hand of his pathetic little brother.

I am sorry my own uncle chose this type of life.

I am sorry for Aunty Hafsat..

I am sorry fo her kids..

I am sorry for all of this.

THIS IS ALL ON ME.

Love,
Mimi.

***

Aamirah found it difficult to continue writing. Although, revisiting those awful memories through her words on a paper wasn't that bad, her chest feels so heavy to carry on.