Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax'd Millennial (Part 2 of 2)

July 1

July 1

I woke up at 1 p.m., naked, and on top of my covers. It looked like a bomb went off in my apartment, with a candle burning strong and garbage everywhere.

I have absolutely no idea what happened last night. When I looked at my phone this morning, I found an email confirmation from Uber confirming multiple trips across the city. I also received a text from Dan, asking me if I was alive. I only responded, "Fuck," as I continued trying to remember my night.

Glasses were everywhere. Ash from weed sprinkled all over the coffee table. Clothes and wigs sprawled across my apartment. The last thing I remember is being at my apartment. I was making Dan and Evan a very burnt grilled cheese, and wondering who the French guy sitting with Connor on my couch was.

I called Dan, and he filled me in on last night's events. The first thing I asked Dan was if we took an Uber somewhere. As soon as I asked that, Dan knew that I was screwed. He told me everything.

While The 4 Single Girls were at the Pride event across the street from the Witch Cave, it was decided that we would go to a house party in Riverdale, which was being thrown by a bunch of high-profile TV industry gays. This was after copious amounts of alcohol, weed, and my full pill of Xanax. Dan and Evan had each taken half of a pill, so maybe they were only half as fucked up. There were also Jack Daniel's promotional booths at this Pride party. I successfully convinced all of the shirtless bartenders to serve me what was probably the equivalent of five shots' worth of free alcohol.

Looking back on it now, I cannot believe how much I drank last night. It was literally one drink or shot after the other, as if I had just returned from 40 days and 40 nights in the desert. Dan said that I was hilarious at the Pride party – telling people that my boyfriend just broke up with me to get more drinks, or that my friends were going to throw up and we needed to enter and leave through the wrong exits to get them out (i.e., shorter lines). Based on what Dan told me, all of this should have been a very big red flag.

The 4 Single Girls went back to my place. I made them food, and I guess we tried on my wigs and drank more. Connor had brought this random French guy over, who was apparently very weird and rude. I'm glad I remember having him in my apartment. Oy.

From the Witch Cave, everyone but Connor and his Frenchman left for the Riverdale party. Dan said that this was when things started going downhill. Apparently, I was fine in the cab. However, as soon as we got to this party, that's when Dan said, "You turned into a complete zombie. I didn't know what to do."

The host of the Riverdale party asked Dan if I was alright.

"I don't want any deaths on the property," he said.

Dan assured the host that I was fine, and that he would take care of the situation.

Dan said that the Riverdale party was absolutely crazy. "Like something out of a movie," he gushed.