Hi, I'm Kurt. A binge-drinking, pill-popping disco diva with a heart of platinum and an appetite for self-destruction.
Welcome to Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax'd Millennial (Part 2 of 2).
Adapted from a collection of nightly...
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July 2
I woke up on the wrong side of my bed, in last night's outfit, and on top of the covers again. I rolled over, and saw that Alison was fast asleep beside me. I think I grunted a quick, "What the fuck?" before I stripped down to my underwear, and crawled under the covers.
I woke up again a couple of hours later. Kyle and Alison were getting ready to leave the Witch Cave, with Kyle still on the couch under a couple of scarves that he had found to keep warm last night. At this point, it was probably around 10 a.m. or 11 a.m., so it was a good time for them to leave. I had to start getting my shit together, and also clean up the second bomb of the weekend that went off in my apartment. Once again, there were glasses everywhere, weed ashes all over the place, and wigs and stray hairs in every corner.
I was sitting on my bed in my underwear while Kyle and Alison were putting their clothes on. As I looked at my TV table, I noticed a fully packed pipe, ready for the taking. Alison and I both took a hit, essentially setting the tone for the rest of my day.
The Witch Cave wasn't as disastrous as it was yesterday. I cleaned it up pretty quickly, picking everything off the ground and washing every glass in my apartment, as I seem to do far too often whenever I have people over. My friends like to drink, and I like to serve.
I continued getting high throughout the late morning, but eventually needed to get out of the apartment to do some errands. My first stop was the mall, because I saw some cute pillows at Connor's place last night. I wanted one, and obviously could not wait. I needed those fucking pillows! Being the hot mess that I was, I strutted down to H&M in my shortest shorts, looking like an absolute crazy person walking through the mall in my John Lennon sunglasses. There was no way I was making direct eye contact with anyone while it was still light out.
H&M didn't have my fucking pillows. I was so distraught. On that note, I then went to Hudson's Bay and bought a set of six champagne flutes. I was tired of drinking out of regular glasses. It's abusive to drink champagne from a regular cup. I also had two bottles of the stuff in my fridge, so I needed to make sure that I was prepared for anything this weekend. Not only that, but I needed to replace the one I took – and had taken away – from Evan the night we went to Fly. Done.
The next stop was HomeSense, where I bought a garbage can and a toilet brush holder. Don't ask me why. I just felt that they were necessary in that moment.
My hands were quickly filling up with shopping bags, so I started walking back home. I ran into Connor along the way, and he joined me for my last two errands – food and booze. I had emptied out my new bottle of gin over the course of two days, and needed to take out a mortgage to buy a new one. Fucking Canada and their ridiculous liquor prices. My friends better appreciate the free-pour policy of the Witch Cave.
In usual hot mess fashion, one of my grocery bags broke on the street while I was walking home. Things went flying everywhere. Fortunately, Connor was around to pick up the pieces. I dragged my purchases back home, settled down, smoked some more weed, and went to bed.
