Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax'd Millennial (Part 2 of 2)

August 18

August 18

Despite some extreme exhaustion, this morning's mad dash was fine. I got my things together at the Witch Cave, left the place in perfect condition without a dish in the sink, and then took a subway and bus to the island airport where I met the boys – Dan, Connor, Evan, Craig, Derek, Zack, and Noah – and boarded the plane. How ridiculous that these eight gays were all going to New York City on the same flight?

I was so fucking tired this morning that I only took off my sunglasses for security and passport checks. Nobody else was seeing my eyes today. I have a rule that states I must achieve a minimum of eight hours of sleep or more to be seen without sunglasses on.

I got some writing done pon de plane, and had a couple of free vodka drinks. I felt good. Once we landed, things were a completely different story.

The group loaded into a shuttle van, and made our way from the depths of Newark Liberty International Airport to our hotel at Grand Central Station. At this point, I was still doing well. I was enjoying myself. I might have been quieter than usual, but I think that was due in part to being with some of the loudest gays on the planet. I don't do well in crowds, and this was a big group of us. Nonetheless, I was having fun taking in all of the ridiculous quotes and behavior – especially Craig's. That boy is fucking hysterical.

Unfortunately, I started to develop some pretty extreme anxiety around the time we got to the hotel. I know it happens when I'm tired, and almost always during my first day of travel to another city, but today was overwhelming.

Hungry for some lunch, the group walked to Shake Shack near Times Square. As soon as I had finished my meal, I knew that I needed to go back to the hotel room and rest. I walked alone, listening to the Go-Go's and other weird music as I popped a Xanax. Once at the hotel, I stripped down to my underwear and crawled into bed for my much-needed nap.

I re-downloaded Grindr and Tinder for this trip. It's only our first day, but I've been talking to a lot of guys on the apps. Of course, this might have something to do with the fact that I max out my Tinder swipes every twelve hours. Hey, when in New York!

The guys came home in the early evening, but then dispersed again for their respective activities. Evan went to meet a local friend for dinner, and Connor and Dan went to see Waitress on Broadway. I don't know what the other boys did.

The thing is, New York City doesn't really excite me all that much. I enjoy the city, but I'm not exactly crazy about it. I appreciate the nightlife, as it's certainly more entertaining than what we have at home, but other than that, I don't really care to do a lot. Perhaps I just need someone to show me around? Oh, wait. Never mind. We aren't going down that road again.

After my nap, I continued relaxing in the hotel room for a while. I did some writing, and then went to the gym and did my thing. I also made a liquor run for what was sure to be a very gin-fueled weekend.