Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax'd Millennial (Part 2 of 2)

November 18

November 18

"Okay so it's 5 am and I still can't sleep

Took some medicine but it's not working

Someone's clinging to me and it's bittersweet

'Cause he's head over heels but it ain't that deep"

— Mariah Carey, "Crybaby"

Okay. So, it's actually 2 a.m., that "medicine" was pot, and nobody is clinging to me. A boy can dream, can't he?

I'm absolutely exhausted from today. The thing is, I don't get "absolutely exhausted" from over-exerting myself. It's from being awake for 18 hours. I woke up at 7 a.m. this morning. Now, I'm going to bed at 2 a.m.

Today was actually a great day at work. Friday's are usually good to begin with – they mark two days of freedom and sleep ahead of me – but Big Bird took the day off. It was amazing. In fact, I got more work done before noon today than I have all week. Funny how that happens.

Despite being great, today was still fairly slow. I had to stay late for a membership tour at 6 p.m., but that will look much better on my next paycheck. I wasn't too bothered. Also, it's not as if I have all that much going on in my personal life that staying late at work is a huge inconvenience.

Once finished at The Clubhouse, I went to the gym and did my thing as usual. I was sad to not see Leonardo. After a full week of thinking about what happened in the locker room last Friday, I really wanted to hook up. It's not even so much about Leonardo, as it is me having been solo for over two months. How sad is it that this locker room thing is the best chance I have at getting some action? After wrapping up at the gym, I stopped at a nearby grocery store to pick up some snacks. I saw Leonardo leaving pon de escalator, but he didn't see me. Oy.

Back at the Witch Cave, I unpacked my shit and then tackled the mountain of dishes that never seems to leave my sink. Soon after that, Dan came over for a classic Witch Cave night. We talked, caught up, listened to Mariah Carey, and watched music videos while smoking weed.

Dan is one of the few people I feel very comfortable with when I am stoned. I know there's no judgment. Dan's usually just as high as me, too. As such, I'm able to relax. I know it sounds silly, but there are a lot of times I blaze with people and it's not a good situation. Well, more like used to. Typically, you don't make the same mistake twice. Then again, it's me we're talking about here.

Tonight, Dan and I just laughed a lot. We vibe on so many levels that it's a lot of fun to simply hang out and do nothing. We swapped stories about ourselves, theories about Mariah Carey's music, then howled while watching the Liz Taylor and Rosie O'Donnell episode of The Nanny. Somehow, the rest of the evening turned into us watching half of John Waters' Serial Mom before we called it a night.

Dan left around 1 a.m. Naturally, I stayed up for another hour to continue smoking and binge eating potato chips and cookies. What a class act.

Bed now. Better tomorrow.

That should go on my tombstone.

Goodnight xo