Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax'd Millennial (Part 2 of 2)

November 3

November 3

Let's cut to the chase. I saw Mariah Carey for the fourth – but definitely not best – time about three hours ago at Hudson's Bay. More on that later, though.

I woke up this morning with more stomach pains. Likely a result of last night's binge eating, but I was definitely on the mend. I think what's happened is that I've fallen back into my late-night eating habits. After tonight's repeat offense, it needs to stop at once. As with yesterday morning, I wasn't feeling a day of eating today. I slept in as long as I could, and avoided dealing with my kitchen. I made a small lunch, but nothing special.

Once at The Clubhouse, I sat at my desk and did my thing. For the first time in my six months pon de job, today I reached a point where I've stopped asking for Big Bird's approval. That moment came when I had about 50 emails to send out in two mass deliveries, and sent them without asking any questions. You know what? I think it's about damn time. I didn't want to ask Big Bird about the wording, or what should be changed, or blah, blah, blah. Fuck it. It's a 100-word email that half the people won't even open. The more I ask Big Bird for writing advice, the less my work sounds like me, and the more it sounds like a corporate robot sans emotion. I refrained from making reference to Mariah – believe me, she was on my mind more than usual today – and sent off the emails. Guess what? The world didn't stop.

We also reached a milestone with membership phone calls today. Big Bird asked me if I was more comfortable making calls when she's not in the office. Before she could even finish her sentence, I shouted, "YES!" in complete agreement. Big Bird actually admitted that she feels the same way at times, and that perhaps we could schedule blocks to make our work calls alone. Finally, an idea I can get behind.

By the time I had finished my lunch, which was really just 40 minutes of me talking to Emma in her office, it was time to pack up my things and head over to Hudson's Bay. Lawrence was surprised I even came into work today. Let's be real here, though. Mariah was set to do one song in front of Hudson's Bay tonight. I was not about to take an entire day off work to see Mimi lip-sync "All I Want for Christmas is You." It turned out that she was actually paid $1M to sing two songs, but that still didn't solicit a personal day.

While taking transit across town, I almost got another ticket on the damn streetcar. Fortunately, I managed to con my way out of it once again. Thank you, Jesus. I do not have $230 to spare.

Once at Hudson's Bay, there were small crowds scattered all over the place. I tried standing in a few different spots – quickly learning the ropes of what areas were/weren't off limits – and finally settled into a corner that security wasn't asking people to move from. This was around 4:30 p.m. The streets were set to close at 5:30 p.m. sharp.

I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Connor and Dan were on their way to join me, so we were in constant texting communication this whole time. They both made it to my spot just before 5:30 p.m.