Hi, I'm Kurt. A binge-drinking, pill-popping disco diva with a heart of platinum and an appetite for self-destruction.
Welcome to Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax'd Millennial (Part 2 of 2).
Adapted from a collection of nightly...
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August 30
After a very fast 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. day at The Clubhouse, I had a fantastic early dinner with Katya.
Much to my pleasant surprise, I found out tonight that Katya's not just home from London for a summer visit. In order to deal with her European passport, she's going to be in town for at least six more weeks! I actually didn't know this, but Katya's parents were refugees from Communist Poland. They fled to Italy while pregnant with Katya, which is where she was eventually born.
Katya has some sort of magical power over me. Not only does she make me feel amazing about myself and life in general, but she is always so encouraging. Katya is such a light in my life. The girl has an incredible energy to be around. I am so happy that she's going to be in town for a while. When Katya told me the news, I completely lit up. I love Katya. It should come as no surprise that she's the one who is responsible for bringing me out of my shell all those years ago.
We talked about everything. Work, boys, and what we want from our lives. Katya has been dating the same pilot for over a year now – the one she told me about last summer during our now annual catch-up session – but it seems like he's changed. If not "changed," then perhaps reverted back to the person he tried to cover up in an attempt to woo Katya when they first started seeing one another. Now, Katya isn't feeling the relationship as much as she used to. I suppose that would explain Katya's relaxed position on her extended trip home, as well as her lack of a return flight to London.
Isn't that scary, though? Katya's rocky relationship reminds me of our family friend Carrie, and how her current situation unfolded. People put on a facade to try and make things work. You can only wear that mask for so long, though. At the end of the day, your true character and interests will always be revealed. Note to self: don't pretend to be someone – or something – that you're not.
Katya was very encouraging of me wanting to quit my job, move home, and write. I know Katya may not have the most developed work experience or resume, but she has so much life experience. I truly admire Katya's view of the world. I want so badly to live my life the way she does. Katya says that you shouldn't spend even one minute doing something that makes you unhappy. As you soon as you realize what is bringing you down, you need to change it up.
I could go on and on about Katya, but everything she says always makes so much sense to me. I'm sure some people probably listen to Katya and think she's absolutely insane, irresponsible, and immature. Just like me! They'd be missing the point, though. Life is short. You better fucking live it while you have the chance.
For as long as I've known her, Katya has always been living her life to the fullest. That's something I'll always admire about her. Katya's the person I strive to be in so many areas of my life. Our conversation at dinner really made me think twice about my living and work situations. I don't know how I want to move forward with things, but these days I'm leaning more and more towards moving back home and handling the California adventure from there. One step at a time. At this point, the only thing I know for sure is that I'll need a lot more money if I'm going to pull any of this off.
