Hi, I'm Kurt. A binge-drinking, pill-popping disco diva with a heart of platinum and an appetite for self-destruction.
Welcome to Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax'd Millennial (Part 2 of 2).
Adapted from a collection of nightly...
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December 18
Waking up this morning, I found myself in the middle of a classic, "Where am I?" moment. You know the one. After slowly opening your crusty eyes and chalky mouth, you look up at the ceiling, around the room, and take about five seconds to remember that you slept at a guy's place last night. You confirm all of this by turning to your side, and seeing said man sleeping beside you. In these moments, I always find it's important to re-evaluate my situation and surroundings as soon as possible. Am I wearing clothes? If not, where are my clothes? Do I have my jewelry? Where's my phone? How far is the bathroom? All of the essentials, really.
Austin woke up. Smiling at me, he moved in for a kiss. I didn't know where that kiss was leading, but I knew that I needed to be prepared for anything. Tiptoeing to the bathroom in my underwear shortly after, I tried to avoid waking up Austin's roommate and the guy he had fucked last night. After doing my thing, I returned to the bedroom.
We made out. It wasn't long before Austin had migrated south, and was putting his mouth to further use. Fuck. It had been way too long. I needed this. We went back and forth for a bit, before eventually climaxing on one another during a fairly quick masturbation session. Yeah. I know. I wanted penetration. I suppose a rubdown was more time-effective, though.
We cleaned up. After Austin brought me the water and Tylenol I had requested, I got the sense that he wanted me out of his apartment. It was nearing 12 p.m. at this point. I had brunch plans with Kevin Sutherland at 1:30 p.m., so I was ready to leave. I also got some jizz on Austin's sheets after it had dripped off one of our stomachs. When I started getting flashbacks to 2010's "Prince Phillip in Dr. Phillips" virginity moment, I didn't want to hang around any longer.
Pulling my pants up, I grabbed all of my stuff and left. It's important to note that this week's trip to the United States is quite different than most. For the first time ever, I'm able to use my phone's data plan while traveling. The roaming came at a cost of $5 per day, but was totally worth it. No more hunting for Wi-Fi.
Once outside Austin's apartment, I basically stopped on the sidewalk in the middle of a very misty New York City and went through my phone for 15 minutes. I'd missed the chance for my usual morning round-up while in Austin's bed. I needed my good mornting! During this time, I also remembered that I'd stashed my champagne flute in a planter outside of the bar we went to last night – Barracuda in Chelsea. Walking two blocks down the street towards the subway, I found it buried in the mud.
With a dirty champagne flute in one hand and my iPhone in the other, I strutted down the street as if I were a high fashion runway model. Onto the subway, up the steps of Aaron's apartment building, and with my coat blowing behind me in the wind the whole time. Hey. I remembered the entire night, plus I got my dick wet. Last night was basically perfect.
With only 30 minutes to wash the semen off my body and change ensembles, I hoped to God that someone would be home. Fortunately, Sonny answered the buzzer and let me into the apartment. I did my thing and was ready for brunch in record time. I looked fucking cute! Listen. It's a rarity. I have been loving my new hair, so I'm going to own it.
