Hi, I'm Kurt. A binge-drinking, pill-popping disco diva with a heart of platinum and an appetite for self-destruction.
Welcome to Sleepless Solitude: The True-Life Journals of a Xanax'd Millennial (Part 2 of 2).
Adapted from a collection of nightly...
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December 7
Today was my half birthday. I'm only realizing it now, as I write this journal entry.
I'm excited about pressing the "reset button" on so many areas of my life. I just want to make sure that I don't get caught up in a "things will work out" mentality. I must continue to work hard for what I want. I suppose part of the problem is that I don't quite know what I want. Really, I'll be continuing to work hard in an attempt to discover my passion. Right? Sure. That makes some sort of sense.
Up early.
Work, work, work.
After lunch, I had a call with Amphitheatre Entertainment to go over the specifics of what they want for my Lord of the Rings anniversary article. Speaking of which, I really need to bust my ass on that.
Work, work, work.
Following her juicy rant during my resignation last week, Big Bird made more comments this afternoon about the toxic work relationship she has with both Lawrence and Stella. Needless to say, it was slightly awkward for me to sit across the table and listen to my boss vent.
Sometimes, you just need to let people speak. I absolutely understand and appreciate that. With Big Bird, the problem is that I often feel as though she wants me to respond or react to her venting. It's awkward. And inappropriate. At the same time, it also humanizes Big Bird a bit. I finally see just how much she hates her life at The Clubhouse, too. Then again, I also wonder why the fuck someone would stay at a job for 5+ years when they can't stand it. In these moments, I am very proud of myself.
While attempting to work on my Amphitheatre article, I also chatted with Colin throughout the day. Big Bird was very distracting, though. Rude. Tonight was our postponed Membership Committee meeting from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m., which I barely focused on. Instead, I opted to continue messaging with Colin.
I'm excited to see Colin on Sunday. In fact, I think our break between encounters is actually a really good thing. Too much too soon has proven time and time again to be detrimental to every relationship I've had since – RX, really. Even then, I wanted to rush things when we first started dating. RX pumped my breaks, to the point that I thought we were never going to happen. Well, look at us now. I should have known right from the start he'd go and break my heart.
Following this evening's meeting, I stayed committed to my routine and went to the gym for a full workout. As a result, I ended up getting home after midnight. There's nothing like approaching your apartment building after a long day at work, only to make eye contact with a homeless man who's sitting outside your front door, and holding a crack pipe to his lips. If I wasn't confident about moving out of the Village before, I sure as hell am now.
Once inside the Witch Cave, I packed one full box for this weekend's move. It felt weird. When I realized that I hadn't taken any pictures of the space since I moved in over two years ago, I stopped packing. I'll continue boxing things up tomorrow, after I properly document my first solo digs. Mind you, I'll have a very small window of opportunity to do so. Tomorrow night is "Mom at the Drag Show." Dan, Connor, and I are taking her to O'Grady's on Church Street for her first time. I want to make it a lot of fun for Mom. She should bring her wig! Not that I really want to keep these thoughts in the same paragraph, but I rubbed one out after I finished packing for the night.
