𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘 // 𝖘𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓 & 𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖘

𝕋𝕠𝕓𝕚 𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕨𝕟

A/N: Sorry for being inactive for a hot minute but I'm back with more sidemen imagines in mind :), this chapter is based on Sarah Close's song 'Almost'. It's such an amazing song so go check it out.

(Lyrics in bold italics)

Your POV

'I don't want to find us right back in that place again'  "Tobi just stop!" I shouted running after him as he walked out of my flat after one of our daily arguments, "where are you going?!" I said grabbing his arm before he flinched and pulled it away, "I need space right now." That's all he said before turning back down the street again. '

Close to breaking up saying we're better off as friends'  A single tear rolled down my cheek as Tobi sat in front of me, "I'm sorry but maybe it's for the best" he choked out, it must be hurting him too. 

'Cause who we kidding? I could never be your friend' I knocked on the door as instant regret washed over my body but before I could walk away the door opened, revealing a slightly red-eyed and shocked looking Tobi, "Y/n?" was all he asked before I flung myself into his arms and attached our lips, we pulled away breathlessly, "this isn't a good idea" I stated as he kicked the door closed and took my jacket off, "I know..." Tobi kissed me again silencing the thoughts of regret. 

'I'd rather not pretend that it's all cool' "Frey can u come over?" I sobbed down the line to my best friend, "of course what's wrong?!" Freya shouted as keys jingled on the other end, "T-Tobi and I b-broke up" I choked out as tears soaked my sidemen hoodie. "Oh hun I'm on my way!" she replied before the line clicked off, my whole body was numb and the one piece of me that kept me together was now gone, I was incomplete. 

'Now we sit here joke about the arguments we had'  I was at the sidemen house sitting with everyone, Freya on one side and Simon on the other, for some reason the holiday to LA last year came up. "All I remember about that holiday is me and Y/n arguing over sun cream ahaha!" Tobi said chuckling slightly, Freya grabbed ahold of my leg and gave it a little squeeze of reassurance, I swallowed the massive lump in my throat and smiled "yeah I remember I thought you had packed it but you didn't," I smiled as I thought of all the good moments of that holiday for me and Tobi, all just distant memories now. 

'It's easy to forget how you felt when you're looking back, but don't forget it!'  We all sat at Nandos eating dinner, I couldn't stop myself from looking at Tobi as he smiled and chatted away to his friends. At that moment I couldn't think of why we broke up but I knew how bad I felt some nights and that's what I have to remember. The bad. 

'We were lying in your bed, those words I nearly said, for a second I almost almost' I remember back sometimes to the time when I knew we were falling apart, we were lying on Tobi's bed, Tobi was sleeping peacefully with his back to me. I thought about writing a note or leaving a message but the thought of going through with it made me feel sick. I knew I couldn't hurt him.

'Told you I'm leaving for a second I almost almost'  I remember being offered a job years ago in Australia but I declined. Would it have been an amazing opportunity? yes. But I loved Toi and wasn't ready to leave him, did I almost go? yes but almost the keyword.

'Got lost in the moment a little unfocused' I downed another shot as I looked around the bar, spotting Calfreezy at the other side. I sent him a smile and waved him over, we chatted away for a while, and before I know it I was in a cab. Heading to Cal's.

'For a second I came so close to'  That night on the drive to his house I sobered up and started to cry, sure Tobi and I were over but I wasn't ready to move on and certainly not with one of his best mates. 

'Giving up walking away, that was such a big mistake'  I never felt pain like this, all I wanted was Tobi. That's all I've ever wanted. Him. I would do anything for a second chance.

'When I almost almost, told you I'm leaving' I was going home for a while, I couldn't stay in an apartment where all I thought of was him or a city where at every turn was a memory him and I had made together, I wanted to tell Tobi I was leaving. But I couldn't find it in me, I really tried.

'Then I found the reason but I almost almost' whilst browsing for flats back home I was thinking of my friends, what about them. I would miss them all so much and just because of a breakup I was moving away. No. I wasn't going to leave. Not now.

'I'll take it as a sign that we're all good'  I got invited to Tobi's birthday the other day, I was a little surprised. I decided to go with Freya, Talia, and Gee. What I didn't expect was to be greeted by Tobi's new girlfriend Ava.

'I won't kick off cause a scene, cause it don't matter' I shook her hand and spoke to Ava for most of the night, she seemed lovely and perfect for Tobi. It's what he deserved not me. "You're being amazing tonight with not fighting," Harry said pulling me in a hug, "he isn't mine to fight for anymore" I responded sadly pulling away to get another drink.

'For I second I almost almost'  I didn't like seeing Tobi and his girlfriend around, I know it's spiteful but I don't care, I still love him. That's why I did what I did. I chapped on his door and told him everything leaving me with sobs racking my body as Tobi stood shocked, "Y/n I wish-" he started but I cut him off, "hey almost right?" I gave a sad smile and walked away.

'And now we're shining'  A couple of weeks after that day at Tobi's he reached out to me for coffee, he explained that him and Ava broke up because he still loved me. I've never been happier with Tobi, we moved into a flat near Josh and Freya's and are engaged set to marry next year. 

A/N: I don't like this but I committed too much aha plus I wanted to update, let me know in the comments if I should continue this book or not? x