At a young age of eighteen, New was living the life of a teenage boy diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. With his life hanging by a thread, he realized that it was too short to be spent on memories that will only result in melancholy, and so he chose...
When Krist and Nana went in, I couldn't help but think of what happened to his wife. She had pancreatic cancer just like me, and her demise is a tragedy to the family she left behind. I had prepared myself for my fate, or so I thought.
I looked at Tawan who was unpacking cleaning after our leftovers. Before I met him, my goals were clear and all I had to do was achieve them before I die. The bucket list I wrote was the only thing I looked forward to, and checking the last one off would mean I lived a life I'm not regretful of. But seeing him that day on the bus steered my life to a direction that's unknown to me, and everyday we get closer as we become a part of each other's memory.
Thinking that Krist's wife left him a piece of her in the form of Nana, who he gets to cherish for as long as lifetime while I on the other hand had nothing to give to Tawan, my heart instantly crumbled. I was no longer ready to die. I was ready to continue living.
"Are you going to keep on standing there or you're gonna teach me?", Tawan said from the study table. If he had not talked, I wouldn't have realized that I was still on the doorway thinking.
We started studying immediately as the night skies were getting deeper and deeper, and we only had a few hours left before the sunrise.
"I can't believe I'm staying up on a weekend for something that doesn't really bother me.", I said as I checked Tawan's answers on the Algebra seatwork that I gave him.
"You agreed though, there's no turning back now."
I sighed in reply as what Tawan said was true. If only I didn't agree to tutor him, I'd be happily streaming netflix in my bed.
In the wee hours of the night we studied tediously and scanned the lessons he missed during the days he was absent. By the time we finished math, it was already 1:30 in the morning.
Tawan let out a snore as he finished packing his things. His eyes were obviously heavy and tired from hours of staring at numbers. It's true that he brought it to himself as he never cared about school attendance, but I was afraid it would take a toll on his health if he continued studying.
"I'll be heading home now, I'll pick you up in a few hours so we can continue with Science.", Tawan said as he held his backpack to his shoulder.
"You should sleep here for tonight."
Tawan halted his steps and turned around.
"It's dangerous to be driving your motorcycle at this time of the day, especially with heavy eyes."
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I walked towards him and took his hand as we walked and sat on the other end of my bed. Nothing but the light from the moon illuminated us, and my hand remained clasped on his palm as we both stared into nothingness. I wasn't sure if he was not reacting because of his sleepiness or he also shares the same feeling as I did, but the serene feeling I felt sitting next to him again reminded me of Doi Mae Salong.
