Chasing the Sun

056

We arrived after a few minutes to the hospital, and were immediately assisted to my room. It was twice as big as the room where I stayed at before, giving me more than enough space to not loose my sanity in the course of my stay at the hospital. The walls were painted a shade of white, though not a striking, mundane color. It was a rather creamy hue that almost seemed like the lightest shade of brown. I felt more comfortable seeing the walls painted a color different to what I had expected, mainly because I really didn't want to make my stay seem miserable. White walls are serene in nature, but if you're in a hospital, they can mean desolation.

There was only a single window on the room, but it was very big that it allowed the entry of sunlight into the area, illuminating the entirety of the room even with the lights turned off. From outside I could see the business of the city, and although the honking of the cars were inaudible from where I stood, I knew that the city was very...alive.

From the corner of the room there was the bed, which unfortunately, looked like most hospital beds. Maybe it was just because the room was very big, but it looked really small in my eyes. Beside it was a small drawer with a basket of fruits on top, and a card that was resting on one of the apples.

Your health is our top priority.

I smiled as I looked at the card because the whole thing made it look like I was just checking in on a hotel for vacation.

"Do you like it?", My mom said as she locked her fingers into my hand as she used her other hand to press onto my arms.

"It looks nice, Mom. Though the card and fruits made it feel like I was just checking in on a hotel.", I answered as I chuckled.

We both laughed at how ridiculous my Mom was for being too extravagant with the preparations, but deep inside I knew she was just doing her best to rid myself of the fear.

"Let's unpack now, the doctor might come in any minute."

We started unpacking our things and got ready for the doctor's visit.

"I'll be heading out for a bit, be back in a few minutes."

Tawan's voice echoed out of the blue as me and my mom tidied the sheets of the bed. If it weren't for his voice, I wouldn't have remembered that he came with us inside.

He was silent from the moment I opened the knob, and before he said he was going out, he didn't utter a word at all. Yet, there was something in his tone that made me feel uneasy. As if his silence wasn't enough to know that he didn't feel okay, his tone affirmed what Tawan really felt.

I figured going with him and ask him why he was being passive, but before I could even mouth a word, his shadow had already disappeared. I sighed in confusion as I sat on the edge of the bed, thinking of the reason why he was suddenly out of reach.

While I stared into the void and let my mind think restlessly of what was bothering Tawan, the room door opened and the doctor came in. He was a middle aged man, I suppose in his late forties, and had a really serious vibe in him. I thought at first that he must have been working for a whole day prior to meeting me, but then I remembered that he was a doctor who dealt with people with the same disease as mine. Smiling obviously would seem like a difficult thing to do when you work in an environment where patients hardly recover.

He nodded to my mom, who was sitting on the couch, and then walked towards me. From the bed I could see my mom tensely shifting as she stood to sit by my side as the doctor approached, giving the impression that she was feeling even more scared than I was.

"How's the room? are you liking it so far?", The doctor asked. He was trying his best to make me feel less tensed, but his hoarse voice and calm demeanor made me feel queasy.

"Yes, I think I'm adapting well to the place."

"This will practically be your home in the next few months, so it's better if you'll develop a liking soon."

All I could reply was a faint smile that I could hardly manage to pull off. Thankfully, my mom seemed to have read my body language as she instantly wrapped his fingers around my hand, giving me the strength to not break down in front of the doctor.

"Doc, when will my son's treatment begin?", My mom asked. We were both curious as to when my treatment would start because the information was not really disclosed to us as we talked about my transfer, though we were given vague instructions back then.

"The procedures and treatment rooms have already been prepared prior to your arrival, so it's pretty much your call when you would like to start the treatment. But as his doctor, I would advise to start it as early as tomorrow so we can properly assess the extremity of the radiation and chemotherapy."

My mom and I could only exchange glances at each other the moment the doctor said those words. What he said was true, about starting the treatment as early could mean a better chance of recovery, but I was not yet prepared to submit myself to something none of us have ever experienced. It would have been better, had the doctor given the call himself and not let me decide for myself, but I guess he was just trying not to breach my right to decide.

"Well then, I'll let you two talk. If you have questions or anything, my office is just right beside the nurse's station. Your mom can drop by and we can talk further."