Chasing the Sun

037

I was both grateful and relieved that Tawan and Aj did not end up having a fight at the coffee shop. It was only a few blocks from the school, so had their fight escalated before I even went between, it would end with the three of us receiving sanctions, and that would have been the least of my worries.

We ate as soon as the food arrived, and tried our best to not mind what just happened. Still, the atmosphere remained heavy that we were not able to talk about anything and just went to school silently.

When I got to our room, everyone was grouped around Aj's table, and the students were murmuring about something that didn't seem audible to me. I walked to my desk, not minding whatever it is they were talking about. As soon as I placed my bag on my table, my classmates looked at me and quickly went back to their own seats. Aj, who was giving me a playful look, leaned closer to me and whispered something in my ears.

"If you're gay, why didn't you join those who queued up the last time?"

His words made me shiver from head to toe, my pupils dilating from what he just whispered in my ears.

"You're scared of everyone finding about it, are you?"

My whole body froze and I couldn't say anything back. Just a few moments ago, Aj was talking to the whole class and they were laughing in unison as he talked about something. My thoughts were filled with countless of possibilities as to why they were laughing, one of them being Aj letting the class know of my relationship with Tawan.

The teacher for the first period came in and my thoughts were interrupted by her entry. I tried my best to fix my composure and remain calm, but my thoughts from awhile ago still lurked at the back of my mind.

Aj kicked my table in the middle of the teacher's discussion and I looked towards him.

"No one knows about it, calm your horses.", He mouthed at me.

Cold sweat ran down my temples as he mouthed the words to me. The tense remained even after the first period ended, I constantly prayed for the bell to ring so I could go and meet with Tawan, and finally free myself of my worry. When the bell finally rang, I immediately stepped out of my room and climbed the rooftop.

"You came here a little early than the usual. Is there anything bothering you?", Tawan said as he picked on a watermelon lain on the lunch plate.

"I'm worried."

"about what?"

"about aj....awhile ago he was talking about something with our classmates, and I couldn't help but think he spilled our status with the whole class."

"Did he?"

"No, but that's what worries me more. He kept on telling me nobody else knows about it, which makes me so uncomfortable, like he's planning on telling it once he gets the perfect chance."

Suddenly, Tawan stood up and unbuttoned his polo. The wind that was blowing hard blew the cloth away, his hair also dancing with the wind as he looked to the skies.

"Will you run away with me?"

"What?"

"If Aj tells the whole school about us, will you run away with me and leave everything behind Chiang Mai?"

I was taken aback by what he had said and initially thought that he was just kidding, but he wasn't. It was clear as day that he meant running away with me. I stood up, stood beside him and intertwined his fingers onto mine. The wind was still blowing hard, so I raised both of my hands, including Tawan's, and let the wind take control over our arms. The breeze felt cold and relaxing as it hit my slightly sweaty arms, and above us the sun shone directly. It was a mystery though, how above us the sun beamed ever so brilliant and yet it wasn't scorching, it was rather comforting.

I let my arms down and looked at Tawan. Our eyes met and again, I saw the world before my eyes.

"Of course...anywhere with you is a safe haven for me. It's not like I had a life here before meeting you, so yes, I'll gladly go."

In an instant, my worries disappeared as if they were swept by the breeze that blew our hair. That moment, everything felt surreal on top of the building, like the moment we both stood on top of the hill in Doi Mae Salong. It's only been a few months since the first time our eyes met, and we were both solving our own puzzle that seemed far from being complete. But as I stood next to him, I realized that the reason why we never solved our independent puzzles was because we were both the missing pieces to the our own shared conundrum,  and I'm ready to finish the picture with him by my side.