Chasing the Sun

049

The next day, my mom and I immediately prepared arrangements for my cancer therapy. We consulted a doctor and asked what could be the most effective treatment I could be subjected to.

"What do you suggest we do then?", My mom said as we sat in front of the doctor's table. He was the same doctor who told me about my cancer getting worse, and he looked like he's thought of a treatment that suited me the best.

"I've looked into it, and I think the best treatment we can give him is radiation therapy. Since the cells have metastasized to the other organs, it would be better to exterminate them fast and reduce the risk of the cancer returning. We can augment it by also having New to take a chemotherapy treatment to prevent the cancer cells from developing anymore."

My mom held my hand tight as we listened to the doctor's advice. Having two different treatments would surely take a toll on my health, and I did not know if I was in the right condition to handle two different treatments simultaneously. 

"Both treatments include side effects which may hinder your body from functioning the same. You may feel fatigue over time, a loss of appetite, frailness, and hair loss. This is because the treatment also extinguishes good cells in the process, causing the body's defenses to decline. Of course we'll provide supplements that will help you recover, but it's all up to your system if it will prevail after the treatment."

He spoke with so much uncertainty about my illness, and seeing how the doctor wore a worrisome look, I knew half of my body was already buried to the ground. I knew my cancer had no possibility of disappearing and I had no chance of recovering from it, but my mom still had not processed the fact that undergoing treatments won't guarantee my recovery, and at best would just extend my time left on Earth.

"You're gonna have to withdraw from school in the meantime and focus more on the treatment. One misconception people have regarding cancer therapies is that they're entirely reliant on the machines to do the magic. But it takes two to tango in recovering from such illness, and we need you to have a strong heart as you engage in the radiation and chemo therapy.", The doctor said as he led us to the door of his office. He was trying his best to cheer me up and my mom, but with the way we exchanged glances as he talked, we both knew it wouldn't work. 

It broke my heart knowing that my mom was oblivious of the fact that my cancer is already incurable, but seeing her hopeful of my recovery stopped me from telling her the truth. I decided to keep the anguish for myself and not share it to the people around me anymore. 

When we reached the lobby of the hospital and went to the exit, I saw Tawan sitting in one of the benches, holding a box of pastries in his one hand. He was not like his usual self where his eyes were glued to his phone as he waited, but rather looked intently at the hallway where I was at as if waiting for me to come out. When our eyes met, he smiled. 

I missed seeing his smile. I missed seeing him, and seeing him seated on the bench made my heart skip a beat, just like the first time I caught a glimpse of him. As the distance between us narrowed, I got a clearer view of the man I love.

His hair was brushed up but not like the usual, it was neatly combed and waxed. He looked good with his messy hair, but seeing him like that caught me by surprise. He wore a white pullover and jeans, the color of his shirt complementing his tan skin as the light shone on him. Again, I felt the world around me go slow as we neared his seat.

"Thank you for giving me the deets, Mom.", Tawan told my mom when we reached the lobby. My mom wore a 'sorry I didn't tell you' face as he smiled at me, guilty of the traitorous act that she did.

"All for my son's boyfriend, of course."

I was taken aback by what my mother said. 

"You knew???", I asked in complete shock.

"I had the chance to talk to him last night. You were sleeping like a log and he called a lot of times, so I answered the call for you. One thing led to another, and he revealed himself as your boyfriend!", She exclaimed in excitement. My mom was even more excited at the sight of Tawan more than I was.

"You're such a handsome lad! My son sure has good standards just like his mom.", Mom said as he pinched Tawan's cheeks. He seemed uncomfortable with my mom touching his cheek, but he giggled awkwardly that I laughed seeing them in that situation.

"I'm still here you know. Are you visiting my mom or me? I can just go home alone and let you have a good time."

Just then, Tawan turned to me and gave me a warm smile. It made my heart skip a beat, and I almost slapped myself for always feeling that way whenever I see him. It's like I was never accustomed to the fact that someone like him existed, an angel on earth.

"For you.", He said as he handed me a box. It was the same cake from when we fought--a strawberry shortcake.

"Don't you have anything to give me? I eat other flavors of cakes too, you know.", I replied in a smile.

Then, as if waiting for me to reply, he quickly pulled me into an embrace and wrapped his arms around me. It felt warm, a familiar temperature I can completely recall, but was somehow foreign to my skin. I longed for it so much that I was motionless the moment his arms wrapped around me, thinking maybe it was all just an imagination. He smelt of flowers, like a sea of Azaleas freshly drenched as they danced with the wind, under the sun. Hugging him felt like I was in the Swiss Alps, in the middle of a bed of flowers situated between the huge mountains. He smelt and felt like home.

"Just for today, lend me your heart.", He whispered to my ears.

I couldn't reply a thing as I was too in the moment that all I could do was stand still. He didn't bother waiting for a reply though, as he held my hand as the words came out of his mouth, and dragged me out of the hospital as we ran for his bike that was parked right outside. As we ran, I looked behind my mom who was standing behind us in all smiles. She knew about everything, I'm sure of it.

"Just like the usual, wrap your arms around me and never let go.", He said as we took off from the hospital and drove to somewhere I had no idea where.