Chasing the Sun

068

I lost track of the time I spent inside that room. If it weren't for the sun and moon changing places to indicate that another day had gone by, I would totally have no idea as to how long I was locked inside. 

Other than the driver who checked in on me every meal to bring food, no one ever really talked to me. I was pushed to the edge of my sanity with the unavailability of anyone to talk to, or let alone get out of the room that seemed like an asylum in my eyes. 

The pictures of New that I took were the only things that kept me from going crazy, but every single time I look at them I was reminded of the person who was waiting for me at the other end of the city. My heart broke at the thought of New going through the tedious task of getting treatments without me by his side. I knew his mom wouldn't leave him, but I also knew his agitation grew bigger as each day passed by without me informing him of my sudden disappearance.

I clenched my fist in frustration the moment I remembered my fight with my dad. I should have known with the way he talked on the phone that something wasn't right. 

If only I could get out of this hellish room.

I stood up and walked to my balcony to see if there was anybody guarding the house from outside. There was no one. 

How many bones will I break if I jump from here?

The height did not seem very altitudinous for me to have a serious injury, and I was certain I would be safe if I jumped correctly, but the place where I'd land was directly in front of the house's living area; If I were unlucky enough, I'd land right in front of my dad.

I could just make a run for the gate and escape immediately.

I went back inside my room and filled my bag with clothes, and changed into a clothing that would protect me from the fall. 

Although I acted bravely and thought of things through with a mind full of will, I was actually scared of the jump. I may be a delinquent, but I had never tried jumping off of my room just to escape. It was my first time, I had all the right to be scared. But I knew somewhere outside of the house, someone was waiting for me, and if I didn't make the jump, I would end up regretting it.

I took a deep breath, and maybe said a few prayers, and readied myself as I hinged my foot on the rails of the balcony.

Was it really this high?

Maybe the fright got into me that the height suddenly looked very high, but I knew I had to do it. My hands were getting shaky and wet from the tension, and I felt like I would slip because of the tremble. 

But just when I was to jump off the rail, the door swung open and came in my step mom. 

"Tawan?", She called out from the entrance of the room.

I was still on the rail ready to jump any minute, but she didn't seem to notice me at all. I peeped in a little more and noticed that she was carrying with her a plate of pizza and a glass of coke. It looked appetizing, and my stomach growled in agreement. 

For the past days I was fed with nothing but dull meals, and seeing her with a plate of pizza in her hand made my mouth dry. I could really use that cold drink.

She stepped in completely and toured around the room, still unaware that I was on the balcony. I was debating whether or not to take the jump, but somehow I thought of withdrawing from my plan and ultimately backed down.

"Oh, there you are. I thought you were at the comfort room.", She said as she gave me a warm smile.

Looking at her that time, I felt...okay. We never really got the chance to talk ever since she and my dad wedded, so I just developed this negative impression on her without any ground. After all, she got married to my father just weeks after my mom passed away, so you couldn't really blame me.