Chasing the Sun

035

The following days went on like the usual, nothing big really happened except a new classmate who turned out to be Tawan's rival at his former school. Aj and I never really talked either, except a few uncomfortable looks that he threw at me while he typed on his phone. Come friday morning, the seniors were called out for an assembly on the court. Our class lined on one end of the area while Tawan's class were lined on the other end. A few moments after, the Principal came out and gave a speech to the students.

"Good morning students. As you may have already known, schools nationwide have been doing HIV tests in their premises in order to detect if there are any students having the disease. This is in line with the previous count of HIV positive cases in Thailand, which have increased since the past six months. As the risk of HIV is greater in homosexuals, the government's health sector eyes the testing of homosexuals in high school as its top priority. Thus, all the homosexuals in the school will be tested first."

Just then, a loud murmur among the students filled the covered court. As our school had a greater ratio of boys over girls, most students saw the Principal's words as a laughing matter and teased each other if any of them were gay. I looked at Tawan, who in my surprise was looking at me too. We both looked concerned, as if confused with all that's happening.

A few moments later, the murmurs were silenced and a teacher stood on the stage in place of the Principal.

"All students who Identify themselves as homosexuals, please come out front and create a separate line for yourselves."

A group of student council officials escorted those who stepped out of the crowd. I looked at Tawan, who was still looking at me. We were both struck with the same confusion as we did not know if we would step out as well or just stay. We had not done any other physical contact other than kissing and hugging, so I was pretty sure we wouldn't test positive. Still, stepping out front and joining the line would make us come out without our approval, and we both knew we were not ready to out ourselves in a huge number of people.

Beside me were my classmates who teased each other and pushed them to line up, further adding to my fear of being discriminated.

By the time the assembly ended, Tawan and I didn't step out. We remained quiet when we went home, but the uneasiness still bothered the both of us. Before we knew it, we already reached the building where I lived.

"Do you think it's a mistake that we did not join the line?", I asked him, ending the silence between us.

"What do you think?"

"I think...we're still confused."

"I am confused. Still am confused."

"I kept thinking of what could have happened if we stepped out. Everyone would have freaked out."

"Why? did it make you feel embarrassed? knowing that stepping out would mean your gay and everyone would eventually find out about us?", Tawan replied in a raised voice, his brows almost meeting each other. He was completely annoyed at my words. I was in shock.

"I..I didn't mean it that way what I--"

"I guess you didn't think it through when you kissed me that night. And here I thought you were clear with what your heart wanted to say."

Before I could even say something, Tawan already sped up with his bike and left me alone, completely lost and shell-shocked.