Chasing the Sun

076

"New's already asleep?"

"Yeah, he said the trip made him feel lethargic that he couldn't join us tonight, but tomorrow he'll surely bug us nonstop."

It was a little past twelve, and New had already gone to bed to sleep. New's mom and I sat on the wide living area, two boxes of unfinished pizza on the table as we sat on the couch.

"How are you liking the place? Is it nice?", His mom asked as she sipped on her cup of tea. I had one in front of me too, but I really didn't like the idea of drinking tea right after eating pizza so it remained untouched.

"Yeah, it's very cozy. I now realize why New liked this place so much."

"This was actually my parents' house, hence the classic country home architecture. They wanted something that would remind them of nature while still being in Chiang Mai.", She said as she stood, walking towards one of the cabinets and took something from one of the drawers. It was a big book that seemed like it had been shelved for too long because his mother had to dust it off before going back to the couch.

She opened the book, and just as I had thought, it was an album of their family photos. 

"He never had a phase where he looked ugly, did he?", I asked, looking at New's photos as a child. 

Each photograph was a smiling image of New, and it made my heart flutter seeing him live a happy life as a kid. There were pictures of him as an infant, where he was fully naked and his little guy was dangling, and we laughed about it too much we had to tone down our voices because we might wake New up. 

"This was a picture of him when he was five, and trying to learn the bike. He said he had it under control and didn't want to buy the bike with protective wheels, so he ended up crashing on a dog's feces on his first try. This was the first time he ever cried because of the bruise he got from crashing.", New's mom said as she pointed on a picture of New where he was lying on the ground crying, his face all messy with the dog's poop on his cheeks. 

"This one was taken on his elementary school graduation. He was annoyed the whole time the ceremony was held because unlike everyone graduating, he only wore a pair of slippers on the event!", New's mom said, nearly going out of breath from laughing as she remembered the ashamed look on New's face that day.

"In my defense, the shoes he was supposed to wear got ripped because he played football with Kay while we were waiting, so it was his fault,", She continued.

We had a good time looking at New's pictures as his mom told me hilarious stories of him growing up. It was only through his photographs, but I felt like I was able to catch up with the time I was unable to catch up with him, so I was still grateful.

"While you were away, New told me that he was still grateful for living a life that he had no regrets living.", I said as I took a sip of the then cold tea. Its bitter taste trickled through my throat, and I immediately regretted drinking it.

His mom, who was happily scanning through the pages of the photo album stopped and looked at me.

"I couldn't think of the reason why he said that, when his life was being put to a stop at eighteen, but he told me he was still luckier than any other kids diagnosed with deadly diseases. He told me, that even if we seem to think that his life was miserably ending at a young age, he was still lucky that he got to experience many things in life as a teenager."

A bittersweet smile formed in New's mom after I said those words. I didn't know exactly the reason why I said that, but I felt like she needed to know it at that time. 

"That silly boy, he's already dying and he still thinks he's lucky? Just how golden can his heart get?", His mom replied in a weak, almost faint voice as she closed the book and gulped down her tea.

"You raised a good son, Ma. Thank you for bringing him into my life.", I said as I held her hand, expressing my gratitude.

I realized that time that I wouldn't ever get to find someone that had the same heart like New. Not because I was already thinking of searching, but because I just knew it. No one else made my heart beat like him, and although he sees me as his constant source of energy to keep going, I knew at that time that his pictures would be my eternal source of solace.