Chasing the Sun

067

I didn't know why my dad called suddenly when he was not the type to do it, but I guessed it was an urgent matter that he needed to consult with me. I was about to notify New that I might run late that night, but my phone died because the battery was low.

"Shit."

Quickly, I got into my motorbike and headed home so I could finish my business with my father. When I opened the door, he was standing on the living room, a piece of paper on his hand. My stepmom was a meter behind him looking at me worriedly as she brushed her shoulders.

As I got closer to him, I realized that the piece of paper that he was holding was actually a picture--of me and New.

"Where did you--"

My father's fist landed on my mouth before I could even finish talking. I landed on the couch, completely fazed by the sudden blow that I received.

"As if your indecency couldn't get any lower than fighting with gangsters, you're in a relationship with a boy?", He screamed at me, his voice echoing through the whole house.

"What would your mom think if she found out that her son is gay? You're the only kid I have, the only one who will continue our family business and will bear the surname Vihokratana when you marry, and I'm finding out that you're gay?"

A feeling of anger rushed through my body, and I could feel my insides burning up from the intense fury that I felt.

"Yeah, what would mom think? What would mom think about you marrying into another woman right after she died? If you're disgusted at me for being gay, think of how disgusted I am having you as a father!"

He raised his fist in an attempt to throw a punch at me again, but his wife held his hand before it could reach my face.

"Min, please! Stop it. Calm down."

"I will not accept a gay man inside this household. Never in a million years.", He said angrily as he looked at me, his eyes brimming with disgust.

"Disown me then."

That moment I wished he would just disown me so I could live my life the way I wanted it to be. His face looked so disgusted having a gay son as me, and it made me even furious. He was always the type of man who cared so much about his image, but very little of his family. He hated that I was gay because I was his only son and the sole heir of his business, but he never sympathized with me when I lost my mom.

What would my mom feel?

She won't love me any less, I knew it. My mom was my rock, and I knew she would never treat me any different if she knew I was gay. And for him to ask me that question, only proves that he never really loved me or my mom. I was infuriated.

"No. I won't let you have it your way again.", He said as he grabbed me by the collar and snatched the phone from my hand.

"No!"

I tried so hard to grapple with him for my phone, but my father's grip was strong.

"This. This is the root of your indecency. This should be trashed."

Then, right before my very eyes, he smashed my phone on the floor and stepped on it. He stepped on it a couple of times, and I heard the sound of my screen breaking. As my phone was being torn into bits, I felt weak.

New.

The night was growing deeper, and by that time we could have been eating the cupcakes that I had in my bag, but instead there I was, fighting with my dad over my sexuality. I lost the energy to break free from his grip as I looked at my phone.

He must be worried right now.

The only thing in my mind was New, and even if my stepmom was trying her best to stop my dad from getting any more chaotic, he didn't seem to show any sign of halting.

"There. Let's see if you can communicate with that gay boyfriend of yours anymore."

I was helpless, and tired. Under normal circumstances, I would have fought him and threw back the punches that he landed on my face, but I was too spaced out with the fact that my phone's no loner working, and New must have been worried to death thinking about me.

"Bring him to his room and lock the doors. Don't let him get away.", He ordered to his driver that was standing on the kitchen, looking at me. He was the same driver that drove us on the way to the hospital, and he too, looked at me with concerned eyes.

It made me even angrier seeing two people inside the house sympathize with me during that moment, but they didn't bother letting me go. All I could think of was the image of New in his bed looking at the door, waiting for me to come with my pack of whole wheat cupcakes. It tore my heart to a million pieces thinking that I couldn't meet me that night.

Why? now that I had my future planned and was actually wanting something good to happen, why did something like this have to happen?

All the blood was sucked out of my body, thinking how things crumbled right before my eyes just when I had things sorted out. I decided to enter the competition and go to college, and New's therapy was going well. So why? Why did my dad have to know, and why did he have to hate me so bad?

Is being gay the biggest sin one could ever commit? Does loving someone of the same sex as you not equate to love at all? Since when has love limited its validity to two opposite sexes?

Countless of questions flooded my mind as I lay on the bed. Nothing but my crying echoed on all four corners on the room, and with each second that passed by, I thought of New.