Chasing the Sun

055

"Have you prepared everything for your stay?"

My mom's voice echoed from the kitchen. The day after Tawan and I slept together was the day I had to admit myself at the hospital for the start of my therapy. It was only half past eight in the morning, but we decided to pack and leave early so I could have my initial tests before lunch.

I didn't bring a lot of clothes as my mom said she'd visit every now and then to bring them to me at the hospital, so I only packed three shirts and 2 pairs of pants with me. I also brought with me my laptop since I'd pretty much spend my time inside the room, so bringing it with me would help me kill the boredom.

After a few minutes of packing, we were done and ready to leave the unit.

"All set?", my mom asked.

I nodded as I gave her a smile and followed through the door. Right before I closed it, I took another glance at my place. Now that I'm leaving for an indefinite amount of time, I started feeling sentimental about the place. It became witness to many of my life's greatest memories, both sad and happy, and knowing how vague my future was, I didn't know if I would still be able to set foot on that place. As I closed the door and twisted the keys to lock the knob, I took a deep breath and followed my mom to the elevator.

"Is Tawan going to be with us on the way to the hospital?", my mom asked as the elevator travelled down. It was quiet as there were only the two of us inside, and her voice filled the entire lift.

"He has school today. He insisted on giving us a ride to the hospital, but I didn't want him to miss school."

Just then, the elevator doors swung open and to my surprise, Tawan was standing outside in his uniform, a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

My jaw dropped and my eyes grew big the moment I saw him, and I couldn't move a muscle. If the lift had not closed before my eyes, I would have remained still.

"Tawan! I thought you're at school!", my mom called as she exited the lift. Her hand reached mine and she pulled me out of the elevator just in time for it to close. I was thankful nobody else was waiting because I stood there for a whole minute, still processing the fact that Tawan was waiting for me all along.

"Well, I can't miss my boyfriend's admission today. He must be feeling scared so I figured it's more important to send him my support than go to school.", He said as he talked to my mom. It's funny how they seemed to get along so well when they only met a few times.

"This is for you babe.", He said as he handed me the bouquet of flowers.

"I thought I told you to go to school."

"You did, but I wanna be with you today."

"We literally spent the whole day yesterday together, don't say you missed me in the short while we're apart."

"I did.", He said as he smiled and reached for my hand.

I couldn't think of a response to counter his words, but my lips formed a smile unknowingly as his fingered intertwined with mine. In the back my mom was smiling from ear to ear as she looked at the two of us having our moment, like a fangirl in front of her idols.

"I feel like I'm watching Kongpob and Arthit by looking at you two!!! you're making my heart flutter!", my mom cheered from behind as she teased us.

I was both embarrassed and twitterpated with what was happening because we were gaining attention from the other people around us, but I was feeling more flushed at Tawan's gesture. I could feel my cheeks go red as we stood still at the lobby, Tawan's hand still holding mine.

"Shall we?", he gestured his other hand to the exit of the building.

He didn't wait for me to answer, and instead pulled me as we made our way out. My mom was behind us, still squeezing herself from enjoying the sight that's in front of her. With the bouquet in my one hand and the other in his grip, I had no way to halt him from holding me. But I didn't want to even if I had the chance, because he was right. I was feeling jumpy and scared with my admission. My mind was flooded with thoughts that were not really good, and I felt uneasy travelling to the hospital for my treatment. But seeing him right as the elevator doors opened, his face beaming in the clear of day, all my worries disappeared in an instant.

"Will we be riding your motor bike? But there's three of us.", I asked as we stepped out of the building.

Just then, Tawan's phone rung and he proceeded to have a word with the person on the other end of the line. It was a quick call, less than a minute I supposed. He was saying something like "we're here", "right outside", and all that, but I didn't really try to eavesdrop and just left him alone. Then, after a few moments, a black SUV pulled over in front of us. It looked brand new as it glimmered under the sun's rays, and the windows were heavily tainted it was impossible to have a view of who was inside from the outside. 

Then, a man in a corporate attire stepped out of the driver's seat and took Tawan's satchel from him. 

"Sir may I?", He asked me, his hands in a position that seemed like he wanted to take care of my belongings.

Though my mind was still buffering, I decided to give the man my bag, to which he placed on the car's trunk. While the man was busy loading the car with our things, Tawan's fingers pinched my cheek that stopped me from my thoughts.

"Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, It's just that...you came prepared, so prepared actually."

He replied with a chuckle and grabbed my hand as we went inside the car. 

It was spacious, just as I had expected, enough for the four of us to sit comfortably. The car seats were covered in black leather, and the interior looked so pristine as if it was bought just recently. My mom sat beside the driver, leaving only Tawan and I at the back. And although there was plenty of space for the two of us, we were sitting really close to each other.

As the engine roared to life and the car took off, Tawan put his arm on my shoulder and pinched it gently. I took it as a signal to ease myself, so I leaned on Tawan's shoulder and we stared into the road.

"Are you scared?", he asked as he caressed my hair. It felt soothing, the way his thin, long fingers danced on my scalp. I would have fallen asleep in no time had he continued to brush my hair.

"I feel like my heart's jumping out of my chest, to be honest."

He took it as his signal to wrap his arms around me tightly, and pulled me into an embrace. A little while ago my heart beat like I just ran a hundred laps, but after his embrace, it suddenly calmed down and I found myself at peace. 

I don't know what it is with his hug that made my fear disappear, but I'm lucky that I had him by my side whenever I felt like the ground was waiting to eat me up. It may sound like a cliche thing to say, but he really was my knight in shining armor in many ways that needed not to wield a sword just to protect me. 

"If your heart ever feels like breaking, just know that my heart is yours too. Come to me when you're weary, and I'll ease it all for you."

I couldn't recall the number of times Tawan made me feel safe through his words, but all I know was he never failed to make me feel safe in his arms.