Chasing the Sun

059

"Any minute now."

The three of us sat on the bed as we waited for the door to open. I was sitting on the middle, and both of my hands were holding the hands of my mom and Tawan. The room was quiet, but the feeling was not heavy nor light--I didn't feel anything. 

None of us talked, and we were just staring at the blank wall opposite to the bed, clearly unaware of what was going on inside each other's mind. Any minute now, the doors will open and I'll be escorted to the radiation room, where I'll receive my treatment. My heart pounded at the thought of doing it alone, but I had worried so much that I didn't feel any fear anymore, like all of my fear had reduced to nothing already.

"lift your head, baby don't be scared, of the things that might go wrong along the way.."

 I don't know what got into me, but I started humming a song before I could even stop myself. I looked at my mom, who was smiling at me from ear to ear.

"You'll get by with a smile, you can't win at everything but you can try"

My mom continued singing. She was close to tears as she sang, and her voice almost cracked, but she still managed to sing beautifully as she smiled at me.

"Boy, I'll stay through the bad times, even if I have to fetch you everyday"

I didn't know if Tawan knew the song, so I was surprised that he sang a part of it. Something with the way he sang, I don't know if it was his voice or the words, made me feel the relief that I could actually rely on him through thick and thin. 

His grip grew tight as he sang, his eyes closed and his torso swinging left to right as he mouthed each word with great feelings. Before we knew it, the three of us were already jamming to the song as our bodies swayed and our feet dangled nonchalantly in the air.

"We'll get through this, I know it.", I said as determined as I could, and pulled Tawan and mom into an embrace.

That moment, I instantly became determined to overcome the pain that came along my treatment. I realized, that the only way for me to prevail is to become my own rock, and anchor my faith on the possibility that we'll get by with a smile.

Just then, the doors swung open and my oncologist entered along with a nurse.

"Sir Thitipoom, it's time now."