𝐃𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑 || 𝐕𝐌𝐈𝐍

「 𝟒𝟑 」

for this book, enjoy the fluff
while it lasts because- oh well :)

- // -

Everything was fine, till Taehyung fully remembered.

It wasn't as if he could pick and choose what he wanted to recall— whatever he saw that sparked the past, the memory surfaced and planted itself firmly in his present mind.

Perhaps it was an accident to hang the canvas up.

Because that brought love, as well as disappointment.

Art was the only way Taehyung had expressed his feelings then, and now that he saw it, he couldn't unsee it.

Jimin had only brought him into his house for a few seconds.

But Taehyung just stopped functioning when the view of Jimin's picture-perfect portrait was slammed into his line of sight, and his mouth fell open in the daze. His footsteps came to an abrupt halt, standing as still as a sculpture.

The painting was doing wonders of forcing memories into him. Something he wanted to erase came flying into his life again, this time all because of... Jimin.

"Tae-" Jimin realised it a tad too late. The male was already caught up in a battle of his past, the pain, the regret wrecking him all of a sudden. He mentally cursed at himself for being an idiot. "I- No, don't. Don't look at it." pleaded the male, wringing his arms, pulling Taehyung away.

But once it happened, it was irreversible.

"D-Dad."

His mouth fluttered open and shut agonisingly, as if he was fighting for air.

"F-Fu- Dad, I'm s-sorry."

Trying to stop him from remembering was as doable as trying to stop a flood with your bare hands.

"No, Tae! Don't remember, don't, don't, don't." Jimin pressed his hands against his face, yanking it towards him, but the gaze he saw was shattered. Scarred, scared, the pain of history tormenting him. And he was fighting it alone; there was no way Jimin could jump into his mind and block it all out.

"Dad... Dad." Taehyung kept repeating, a broken recorder of his voice piercing Jimin inside.

"Listen to me, Tae!" Jimin shouted, his cracked cries in vain. Watching as the younger's eyes sprouted tears, the pretty brown disappearing, a hazy ink of black polluting it.

He was drowning.

Jimin couldn't let him.

"No, Tae! C-Come back! I'm h-here!" Shaking him didn't do any good breaking him out of the trance, and he fell onto the sofa, muttering strange sentences Jimin could hardly hear in his mess of tears.

"I-I killed you. I killed M-Mom."

The memory flashed angrily like lighting across his vision. Dark clouds blocking Jimin out.

"I'm... I'm a m-murderer."

"Tae, what are you saying? Snap out of it, it isn't real! Kim Taehyung! It isn't real!" tried Jimin, squeezing their hands together urgently. It didn't make sense. Taehyung was no murderer. It couldn't be true.

"I killed you. I- I killed you." repeated the man, fixing his unrecognisable stare at Jimin. The smaller let out a tiny scream and backed away; he felt like the darkness in Taehyung's eyes were the very monsters that plagued his sleep. It wasn't Taehyung anymore.

"Y-You didn't kill anyone." Jimin sobbed, shaking his head so violently he felt dizzy. "N-No, you're you. My Tae."

"I'm n-not. I'm not Tae. I k-killed Dad. I killed Mom."

Outside, the snow was picking up speed, falling hard, the white pounding against pavements like it was in a boxing match. The grey skies seemed angry, and sent larger waves of cold flecks down. The house only dimmed, even with the lights switched on. Darkness hung about, ready to snatch the vulnerable up.

"Y-You aren't thinking, Tae. Snap out of it, snap out of it!"

"No. No." A streak of lighting lit up the younger's eyes, and Jimin turned back to see the weather's furious change in mood punishing him.

"Tae." He begged, for the last time, his warm, voice lost somewhere in his throat, stupid tears gathering, making him weak rather than strong.

"You don't believe me?" The incredulous question that Taehyung spat came hurtling like an arrow Jimin couldn't dodge. "You don't believe I killed my mother?"

"No! I can't! And I won't!" He fired back, refusing to let emotions take hold of the younger. Taehyung needed to learn that feelings of pain weren't everything. There was much more, much better feelings to feel. "Stop being like this!"

"Shallow, stupid, that's what you are."

Don't let it get to you, Jimin.

"Just because you didn't see it doesn't mean it didn't happen! Just because you believe that I'm perfect- it doesn't mean I am! I'm a whole bloody mess, Jimin, you don't understand. You refuse to let yourself see. I pushed my own mom down the stairs and killed her, you just can't take it! I broke my dad's heart in every way, he died with all those regrets, yet you- you pretend everything's fine with me! But I'm not, okay?! I'm just some psychotic freak who killed his mother just because I loved art more than her!"

There were two different types of panting— one, of shock, trauma. The other, pent-up fury and bitter regret unleashed.

"Why can't you see me, Jimin?" said Taehyung.

Angry, sad, resentful— just words. Feelings were much more than that.

Jimin didn't know. He felt like a stupid young junior again, all blur and confused. As much as he hated it, that was all be could register.

So what if Taehyung killed his mom?

Yes, he's a murderer, but...

But...

But what?

This man in front of me killed his own parents...

"Yeah, now you see sense." Taehyung's words sliced the air as Jimin's tears cleared. Strong, sharp, determined.

Strongly yanking his hands away, the taller fled from the house, the door swinging shut— gently, contrary to his emotions.

Storming out into the hellish weather, Taehyung's mind swirled with possibilities of what Jimin was about to say.

"I don't think I like you anymore."

"You're a freak, get away from me."

"You're going to kill me too, huh?"

Taehyung couldn't forgive himself.

Someone like him... wasn't meant to be loved.

He was basically an undiscovered criminal.

An innocent, perfect person like Jimin didn't deserve to be blinded by whatever good looks or job or personality he possessed.

He was him, a murderer, and his parents the victims of his misdeeds.

And letting Jimin go was the only way of protecting him, the only way of loving him in return.

- // -

"But I still love you." Jimin breathed out, seeing the silhouette he loved disappearing into the grey danger of winds.

- // -

Yeah :") that's what I meant