Selfless

7

I raced down the stairs as Colby called after me, but I just needed to be alone, I couldn't be here right now.

I grabbed the closest set of keys and ran out to the driveway, "CORA STOP!" Dad yelled as I clicked the unlock button on the keys, not knowing which one would unlock. A small black car flashed its lights at me and I ran over to it, getting in before anyone could stop me.

I was fine.

I was okay.

I just needed a minute.

I noticed that the car I was in had a car seat in the back meaning it was probably my car that I ended up grabbing the keys for. I quickly pulled out of the driveway and started to drive. I let myself relax against the seat as I rolled the windows down, and put some music on.

Listening to music was stranger than I thought it would be, because I had never heard most of the songs on the radio.

Losing your memory was a really hard thing to grasp, it's like you're paused in time while everyone else got to move forward, but I didn't want to think about that right now. I wanted to just feel normal for a minute.

I felt all of the panic and stress leave my body as I aimlessly drove down the road. I was just going to drive for a couple more minutes, everyone would be fine with me being gone.

I thought about last night, and how Colby made me feel. I wanted to believe him with my whole heart that he was mine and that we were in love but there was something that was stopping me. I felt like I didn't deserve him and I don't think I ever would deserve him.

How could someone love me so much? I wasn't special, I was broken.

I felt tears falling down my cheeks again as I thought about the idea that everyone in my life has left me and the one time I supposedly find a solid group of friends my mind betrays me and forces me to forget about them.

I don't know low long I zoned out for before I realized I had no idea where I was, and I sure as hell didn't know our address so I couldn't even plug it into a gps. I felt my chest start to tighten as anxiety flooded my body.

I also very quickly noticed I was also almost out of gas and I didn't have my wallet or any money.

Well shit.

I took a deep breath and pulled over onto the side of the road and grabbed my phone. My hands were shaking so bad I could barely hang onto it. I was about to call my dad when I realized he didn't live here, he wouldn't know how to get to me either. I took a deep breath and searched for Colby's contact and pressed the call button.

"Cora, where are you?!" He answered frantically after the first ring, "I went for a drive. I'm lost though, will you come get me? I'm also almost out of gas." I said and bit my lip, "damnit okay, where are you? I'm on my way." He said and I looked up to find a street sign or anything but I couldn't see any, "I...I don't see any signs." I said and bit my sleeve nervously, "it's okay, just share your location with me love, on your phone. Go to our texts and click the contact information and it should let you send it to me. Just stay calm." He said and I nodded, "okay, I'll share it, I'm sorry, Colby." I said and bit my lip, "it's okay baby girl, I'm on my way." He said then hung up.

Baby girl.

I really liked when he called me that.

I went to our text thread and shared my location with him. Then a text caught my eye,

Baby can you pick up icecream on the way home I'm craaaaving it.

Colby 🥰: anything for you. Cookie dough?

Yes 🥺

Colby 🥰: okay I'll be home soon, I love you.

I love you too.

I smiled at the simple but sweet text conversation that I didn't remember having. I really loved him, and he really loved me.

I couldn't help the smile that creeped onto my face as I looked down at my ring finger.

I wanted so badly to remember who he was, and to remember all of the memories we had. What was our first kiss like? When did he tell me that he loved me for the first time? What were the words he used when he proposed?

I scrolled through all of our messages for a while until I was interrupted by someone knocking on my window. When I looked up I was expecting to see Colby but instead it was a tall skinny pale man with a bleached buzz cut.

"Hey beautiful, what are you doing out here all alone?" He called out and leaned against my car. "I'm not interested, please go away." I said as my heart rate sky rocketed, "aww come on. Don't be shy, I can show you a great time." He said and reached for my door handle which was locked, thank god.

I could tell he was either drunk or on something because when he pulled at the handle he got overwhelmingly angry, "you fucking BITCH. I know what you did!!! Open the god damn door!!" He yelled causing me to coward away from the door.

"If you don't open the door I'm gonna smash the glass in ASHLEY. I know what you did!!" He yelled and banged on the glass, "I'm not Ashley!! Please leave me alone!" I yelled which only made him angrier, "fuck you Ashley! I know it's you!! I know it!!" He yelled and continued to bang on the glass.

"HEY!" I heard someone yell as they walked up, "get the fuck out of here!" Colby yelled and pushed the guy away from my car. "Shit!" the tall guy yelled and then ran away. Colby waited until we was long gone before he turned to me, "unlock the car, Cora." He said and I nodded, bringing my shaking hand to the unlock button.

As soon as it clicked he flew the door open and pulled me into his arms, "are you okay?" He asked and smoothed my hair down, "yeah, thanks to you." I breathed out and clung onto him,

"You can't just run away like that Cor, do you know how scared I was?" He asked and pulled away from me slightly so he could look at my face, "I'm sorry..I just needed to be alone and there's nowhere at the house to be alone. I should have thought this through a little more though." I said as he brushed my hair behind my ear.

"Yeah, maybe a little bit." He said quietly as I looked into his eyes. They were still so full of concern as he let them move their way through my features. I watched him carefully as he breathed out, a small smile on his face almost as if he was reminiscing something.

When his eyes met mine again, I was taken back by how intense his stare was. I smiled slightly as I brought my hand to his face, letting my fingers trace his jawline slowly. His eyes where still staring into my own until they darted down to my lips, then back up to my eyes again.

He wanted to kiss me.

I smiled and rested my hand on his cheek, then leaned in slowly until my lips pressed against his.