Selfless

41

The next week was the hardest week of my life.

Everyday we did so much physical therapy that I would cry myself to sleep at night from the pain.

We had to stop letting Mia stay with us in the hospital because I would keep her up constantly with my screaming, so I haven't seen her in almost 3 days. I wasn't doing well mentally either. Every day it got worse, the feeling that I would never actually get better and that I would never be back to normal. Colby was so supportive of course but I felt bad, he hasn't been able to sleep at night because he's been so worried about me. I missed being able to cuddle with him, but I was connected to so many machines it would be impossible to comfortably lay with him.

I woke up this morning dreading everything, feeling the dark storm cloud above me raging on. "I don't want to do it today." I wimpered as Colby helped me get out of bed so I could shower....more like sponge bath.

"I know baby girl. I don't want you to either." He said and held my waist as we slowly made our way to the bathroom. Devyn decorated my walker with lights and flowers to try and get me to like it more but really I just wanted to throw it across the room.

We got to the bathroom and Colby sat me on the chair that we had in there so he could get everything set up. "I'm so sorry." I whispered as I wiped the tears off my cheeks, "stop apologizing Cor, I love you and want to help you." He said and helped me strip down carefully. He set everything up for me then let me do what I had to do.

He used to have to help me with everything but I have gotten strong enough to actually bathe myself which was nice.

Once I was done with my business I called for him to come help me. "Colby??" I called again when he didn't come. I sighed when he opened the door. "I can't get the sweatshirt over my head." I wimpered as he came over. He just smiled softly and helped me get it on, "thank you." I whispered and bundled the sleeves in my hands as he brushed my hair.

"I think they are gonna let you go home today." He said as he helped me stand up again. "You said that yesterday." I breathed out as I started the terrible journey back to my bed. When he opened the door there was a bouquet of flowers on the bed, "did you go get me flowers?" I asked and pouted my lip out.

"I know I said it yesterday but I really think today is the day, I got the flowers to celebrate." He said and kissed the side of my head before helping me get in bed. "You're sweet." I whispered and kissed his cheek.

"Good morning Cora!" Meghan said as I tried to catch my breath from the small walk, "good morning. You're chipper for someone who TORTURES PEOPLE." I said causing her to laugh, "relaaaaax Cor. I know you're hurting but today is the day." She said and Colby gasped, "I KNEW IT." He said and cheered as I glared at him.

"There's gotta be a catch though." I said and looked at Meghan, "yeah, you have to walk across the hallway by yourself." She said and I frowned, "that's gonna hurt so bad." I said and she sighed, "you still have your walker, you'll be fine, we barely help you as it is anyways." She said as I shook my head, "that's not true." I mumbled,

"It really is Cor, you do more than you think." Colby said and started braiding my hair for me. I taught him how to do it a couple days ago and he is now obsessed with braiding my hair. "Alright, well...let's do it then." I said with a sigh.

"You should eat first though, gotta get that strength up." Meghan said as Colby finished my hair. "Alright." I sighed, laying back further in the bed, closing my eyes against the pain I was feeling all over my body.

"I want Mac and cheese." I said and Colby smiled before kissing me, "your wish is my command." He said then jogged out of the room.

"Where do I get one of those?" Meghan asked and gestured to where Colby just left. "I don't know dude, I just got lucky." I said and groaned as I stretched my hands out. "I'm gonna miss you ya know?" She asked and sat next to me on the bed so she could massage my arms, trying to relieve the pain for me.

"I'll miss you too, but you're always welcome to visit the house. We all love you." I said and smiled at her, "yeah, I'm just usually working." She said and I frowned, "yeah, you really are. Do you ever take a break?" I asked and she laughed, "no I really don't." She said as Colby came in with a cup of Mac and cheese from the cafeteria. "Thanks babe." I said and grabbed it from him.

It felt good to be able to eat by myself too, like it was cute at first to have Colby feed me but that got old really fast.

"Eat up, I'll see you in like an hour for your walk!" Meghan said and got up, smacking Colby's shoulder playfully on the way out.

"I'm really gonna miss her." I said and took a bite of food. "Yeah, me too." Colby said as he started packing up our stuff.

I was so excited to get out of here, but I was also petrified of being on my own with all of this pain, like yeah I had a house of friends but they couldn't help me the way doctors and nurses could.

I ate my food and relaxed with some heating pads on my legs while Colby packed the room up until Meghan came in with Dr. Robinson. "Ready to do this Cora?" Dr.Robinson said and clapped her hands.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I said with a sigh as Colby helped me position myself to get off the bed. I screamed out in pain as soon as I stood up, already not wanting to move, even with the support of my walker and Colby's arm around my waist. "you can do it baby girl." Colby encouraged as I cried out, "stop saying that! I can't do it!" I yelled and stumbled.

"Come on Cor, don't let it win." Colby said and caught me. "I can't do it." I whispered causing him to sigh, "okay. I'll unpack again I guess. You're not ready to go home and see Mia. It's fine." He said and sighed dramatically. "Oh FUCK OFF COLE." I yelled and stood up straight as he breathed a laugh. "Yell at me all you want, I don't care as long as you keep fighting." He said and supported me once again. "Oh I'll be fighting something in a minute here." I mumbled as we slowly made our way to the hallway.

"Alright. Colby you stand over there at the end, Meghan you stay here and I'm gonna follow her along just in case. You ready Cora?" Dr. Robinson said as Colby jogged to the end of the hallway. The nurses blocked off hallway traffic so I could do this so I was feeling extra embarrassed.

"No, I'm not but I guess let's fucking get this over with." I said and took my first shaky step with nobody holding onto me. I screamed out in pain as tears welled up in my eyes.

"You can do it Cor!" A random nurse yelled as I focused on the ground in front of me. I took another step and felt my arms shaking as I cried out again. "I can't.." I whispered and stopped, trying to catch my breath. "You can! Just keep pushing!" Meghan cheered from behind me.

I gritted my teeth and pushed on until I was halfway there, "you're doing great Cora, keep it up." Dr. Robinson said as I sobbed. "I can't do it...I can't do it!" I cried as I started to collapse. I kept myself up by leaning on the walker as Dr. Robinson hovered closer to me. "I can't do it." I repeated as I broke down.

"Cora look at me." Colby said from the end of the hallway. I sniffled and looked up to meet his blue eyes, feeling instant comfort, "you're the strongest girl I know. You can do it. Just come to me." He said softly and held his arms out to me.

I gritted my teeth again and stood up straight then started to walk again. I could feel my body giving up on me but I kept pushing. I wanted to go home and see our friends.

I wanted to sleep in my own bed.

I wanted to see Mia.

I screamed and kept going and before I knew it I was within reach of Colby. I took one more big step and smiled widely,

"I did it." I breathed out as Colby wrapped his arms around me as my body collapsed into his.

"You did it baby girl. You did it." He said and kissed my head.

I was going home today.